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^^^ some times ya shouldnt drop on topics ya dont know about but....
Ya had no rhyme scheem but ya had some good transitions. Ya need to elivate work
on ya flow over all normal flow. Keep ya head up....
Cheatin and creapin on my girl while shes sleepin.
Im out eatin with this trick while my grils weeping.
My beeper keeps beepin i know that shes peepin.
I promised i would allways have her safekeeping.
Trust is gone i'v broken my vowes and what now.
Dint think of what woud havpen if she found out.
Never would have guessed life would go this way.
Wont forgive me now but tomarrow's a new day.
N/t : Some one in ya Fam died...
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Has potential, but I think you rushed it though. Nice structure, but work on wording and vocab. Was an alright drop, but like i said it seems forced and rushed just to get to the point
My pen leaks slowly filling every line w/ agony and pain
And the sky gets dark as my tears drops like falling rain
It hard to lose one, but its like an Angel lookin at angles
Pointin out the knots in your life as its hard to untangle
Empty promises and broken dreams, shatters lost hopes
N now your life's on the edge, everythings hard to cope
The only thing left to do is to stay strong and look pass
Cuz u only live once & you dont want to live in the past
Next topic: Future
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Good structure great flow in gerneral complex and diverce.
And finaly a topic I can work with.
Your future disipates into an end that some consider fate.
Dont hesitate take your goals and find a life you can make.
No one can tell you whats to come untill its said and done.
Make the most out of your life keep ya self off of the run.
Insperation and innovation left for the future gerneration.
The seperation of the world form the people and its nation.
So easy to say that you got conpleate controle of your life.
As bad as things are going now well I hope your damn right.
N/t Lesson learned...
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really good flow, except for one line that was sliiightly off, and the vocab is nice. just work on spelling a little, but that doesn't matter in audio ;)
broken hearts, wondering what's the lesson learned
is the girl a bless or curse, is "never met" much worse?
perhaps it was about treating her decent, but that ain't the case
holy ground underneath her, but just recent i got slapped in the face
maybe she's the crazy one, not realizing i love her
i didn't just want to fuck her, no one else was above her
another thing, i guess this means i know the meaning of it
yo, hoes are hoes, no hope in those, and what i'm feeling, fuck it
not exactly what you had in mind, but oh well, lol... i'm tired too... going to bed... good night/ morning people
next topic: trying to elevate
