Original Props: A Revolution in Hip-hop

i voted this in legends. easily one of the best pieces i've ever read bounce. major props.

Thank you sir, I'm working on recording this, so if all goes well I'll get the time soon.

need more eyes on this

a mist of fiery dreams
you also used the word absinth twice, and to me it seems slightly akward when you use a big... not big, but larger word without a synonym (lol at my criticism)
was the only thing i could find slightly wrong in this... because it slightly messed up the flow.. which was basically incredible....


i cant say anything that hasnt already been said.. great diction, not too over the top... great imagery, the flow just was like a stamped didnt slow.... emotion imagery... the knowledge of the topic.. great piece

I'm trying to understand you here, help me out?

I used a large word without a synonym? Explain that to me... Because a synonym is just another word that means the same as another. So, I;m kind of lost and would liek to knwo what you ae getting at here.

lol at using absinthe twice, since it was a focual point of the peice.. but really, let's talk about this, I am curious as to0 what you are seeing. I inivite such things in my threads.

Iunno, maybe this is just me....

For instance... high-vocab piece

retriangulate the absinthe and desecrate the recalcitrance
devoid of apthatic vortex the Stxy flux tossed the absinthe in

It just seems weird to me..

Ok, so my use of absinthe twice is what seems weird to you? I understand in the example you posted above, but in my peice the word absinthe is used in the opening, then not again until quite a ways down. I mean there's several lines of seperation, and in either case they were not used in the rhyme scheme. So, I don't see the comparison to the lines you posted above. If you notice the last time I used absinthe, the meter changes in the very next measure. The progression of rhyme changes with it, so the delivery of the peace will be picked up at that point, as it transition in audio. It's a poetic fluency technique I use when varing the meter in my verse, it adds a balance to the transition instead of an awkward pause before an increase in tempo. I might be misinterpiting you here, but I'm trying to figure it out. more often than not, if there is a count issue in one of the verses I write for audio, I tend to compensate with a devation in delivery. It allows me to keep the editing to a minimum and still gives me the flexibilty I need in the booth while trying to work out a verse. I don;t know too many people who can take a written verse and spit it word for word in the booth right off the bat. Most the time there are minor tweaks and changes right up until the verse is locked down. I mean that is kind of over analyzing on my part, but if you are getting at something along these lines, you have a better grasp on this than most. I'm kind of suprised to see that actually...

Quote:

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absinthe is used in the opening, then not again until quite a ways down

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your right about that..

I was probobly just trying so hard to critique this, since I dont really like to admit that a piece is always perfect, but in this case.. the piece had very very very little flaws.. if more than one..

I been trying to find pieces, that will motivate me into dropping here again, and I believe I might have found one. I loved how you captured the essence of what it is to be an artist and to love hip hop. Vocab was top-notch, structure was on-point to match the killer flow you had, and you described your lyrics very well, to where I could imagine it in my mind. Good job, I'll be looking out.

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Originally Posted by Omega.

to minds lost, & connect with fine imagery, designed to project
off words tossed, I elect to spine symmetry, enshrined in hip-hop
entwined by dope knots and tied to the fabric I weave, to sleeve
the beast dropped, conceived in ink blots, achieved thru chief 'd
crops, released on creased pages of text, a feast of greased
feathers staged next, to complex spools & ink-jets, I bleed facts
on 'the land of the lost' like 'Sleestaks' gutted by 'pakuni' packs
to bring back the old school & breath back the visions, in fact
to a time before mainstream went wack, my main scheme intact
w/ X-ACTO Blade tact, I act on the absinthe attack w/ killer lines
housed on internal rhymes, and extract an image so defined
inclined to fracture your frame of thought & shake the foundation
in which you were taught, with an onslaught of original 'props'
I'm talking, fresh sneakers & backpacks w/ the pen that I brought
not talking a pendant or watch! so mutha fuck a bling on my watch
I string a meaning in taunts to flaunt the artistry streaming in fonts
that leave a crowd screaming in want, an energy beaming in jaunts
like vibrant trips, where you long to kiss souls w/ Aunt Jemima lips
where syrups flow from twisted trees, & the bliss that be, persists
w/ ease, by embers sparked right besides a mist of fiery dreams
I exist only to assist in shifts of power or politics deemed coward
the revolutionary hour before the battles won face to face w/ Babylon
against all odds I prevail & hail God, for the strength to carry on
my back, the weight of some failed wax, where the message's
scaled back, & content is known to lack, but I stand firm underground
as the revolution of hip-hop, a conscious music observed to level
playing fields and preserve our culture from industry slave-bots..
..so fuck a mainstream, I'm rocking them fake clowns..
^^
liked these lines alot

ok your opener was great man i liked hwo you meshed in your multies nd metas and spread'd out you rchoice of diction and defiance in writing man i liked the flow and the scheme and the topic and the sense of thoughtness in the writings aswell amn nice overall i feeel youdid a GREAT JOB!..man keep writing B,

RTF on Picture Perfect please. last link in the sig.

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yo bounce....im still waiting my dude. :2thumb:

thanks all

lmao, most the replies are my own...

'post TV era, where air raids on Xbox raise kids like stairways'

'that leave a crowd screaming in want, an energy beaming in jaunts
like vibrant trips, where you long to kiss souls w/ Aunt Jemima lips'



Nice peice. It was very deceroated that made a regularly long read rather interesting, along the same lines as my peice and again executed nice. I wouldn't of wrote my peice if i read this first, i was tryna show kids how to execute the ropes of hip hop based peices, but obviously you did that here. Very nice, and you posted first so you got the nommy ;-) lol, the flow was good but could of been better, some internals and multis would of made this a 10/10

overall - 9/10

Dope shit my nigga.

peep me and mistrals collab ;-p

You know I loved this.. & I'll edit with my essay tonight.
For now, check your SS QF battle my friend.

Dope ass read, fucker ;-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Vylint

'post TV era, where air raids on Xbox raise kids like stairways'

'that leave a crowd screaming in want, an energy beaming in jaunts
like vibrant trips, where you long to kiss souls w/ Aunt Jemima lips'



Nice peice. It was very deceroated that made a regularly long read rather interesting, along the same lines as my peice and again executed nice. I wouldn't of wrote my peice if i read this first, i was tryna show kids how to execute the ropes of hip hop based peices, but obviously you did that here. Very nice, and you posted first so you got the nommy ;-) lol, the flow was good but could of been better, some internals and multis would of made this a 10/10

overall - 9/10

Dope shit my nigga.

peep me and mistrals collab ;-p

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internals and multies? reread this bruh, the sceme is centered around it's internals and assonance (multies)... lol

*scratches head*

But it's all love for peeping