"As Seen on TV!"

I loved the concept, very original take on something writers attempt all the time. I think the poetic mechanics used in this peice set this apart from the rest though. Abstract kind of feel without the random or obscure references most abstract work focuses around. Short and simple, yet complex, well written, deep and informative. Different, which is always nice to come across. I just couldn't spit this outloud, the flow is not audio friendly, for me atleast and I can spit mad amounts of syllables a bar. Just couldn't do this to any conventional type track. Spoken word maybe, but this was more poetic than the typical OM's we see aroud here....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Myself

It was just kind of expressing the effects Tv has on youth in terms of showing coverage of wars and travesties. Thanks for the feedback man.

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Ok, I was kina thinking the samething.

Nice drop here like the way you set
everything up and gave good examples
using an awkward style of approach.

Quote:

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Hold your breath when your leg
Is kissed by giggling claymores before
you even settle in to take your mark.

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Quote:

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After they amputate your decaying
limb it's time to skip into place.
Puddle jumping in blood until
medics intervene with morphine

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Just some lines that stood out to me the
most because of the content, as well
as imagery. Abstract piece here.

In other words weird however good drop.
Like the style.


Keep writing.

Wow i know it's already been said but this was uhhh......weird lol i think your starting to get a little bit too creative and unique w/ your rhyme scheme. i loved the detailed descriptions though, metaphors, word choice. i had to read and reread a few times to understand the concept but i THINK i finally got it lol anyway this isn't the best i've seen from you but still dope, nice read

omg!!!! i understand the rhyme scheme!!!!! yaaaay.......

sorry about that :)

huh?


sorta my first reaction took more then 2 reading to kinda grasp ur concept and all emotion was there thats a plus structure and flow were kinda off had me tryin to figure things out ever now and then...
good usage of meta and wordplay gave it distinctiveness nothing that made it basic wich always makes better for a reador

not a bad piece but im sure with the way u dropped this u can have better...imagery and creativity were strong for the simple fact that this has been something that i havent seen atleast to my knowledge...

like i said family not good but definitly not bad


keep droppin and ill be lookin foward to more of ur work

giggling claymores...i knew i was gon like this piece when i
read that shit...and i wasnt dissapointed...this was nice...
flowz right...original concept...you got some gud imagery...
the first half was my fav...but the piece is nice all over...
nice read...you got some skillz...peace

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