^uhhh thanks... i think... uppin 4 some real feed.
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^uhhh thanks... i think... uppin 4 some real feed.
Gods never late.. He is the beginning and the end.. so you were acting out of your flesh and not being led with the Holy Spirit.
u had nice wordplay it was good all togther it was never really off
ur sturctre was pretty dam good i could read it perfect an tha lines were pefect length
tha topic u choose was ok alot of ppl write bout stuff liek this but its still a hard topic to write on an u kept on tha topic for tha whole piece
Nice Piece You Had Some Good Multies In There, Overall I Was Feelin The Piece Even Though I Disagree With It, Cause God Is Never To Late It's The People Who Recieve God To Late, But Besides That I Was Feelin Your Use Of Imagery And Description, Keep Upp With The Writing, I Think You Can Do A Lot Better But Overall Nice Piece
ur retarted, thats not feed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kstroyer
and the "God" part is a metaphor for all u retards out there... when people say they "Found God" that means they've changed their bad ways... its saying that she was 2 late 4 that change... DVS is the only one who really understood this piece so far...
upp
damn this is a real nice peice son great topic and the flowz went along wit it perfectly imagery was beyond greatness just every word painted a picture ending was good wrapped it up and to the point never got side tracked multis i thought i was decent at multies but afters readin this i relized i got a lot of work to do great wit those nice peice 9/10 stay up
aight thanks 4 da feed... lets get some more
good shit,
flow- the flow was really nice, i think you had some really enjoyable multis and the rhyme scheme was complex and interesting
concept- the whole thing was simple, i think you cudve came up with something more fulfilling to write about, decent tho, just not something everyone can relate to
imagery- i could picture it, not percisely but yeah
phisical connection- i think you didnt have alot of this, i really couldnt picture the scenery at all
mental connection- ahhh the best for last, yes your mental connection was intriguing really. you connected with the lady, and beth.
well done
thanks 4 da feed upp
bah.. kay last up people... lets get some good feed 2 finish this shit off