"Deflowered Rose"

hmmm an emotional look on rape... not really savage or anthing well the story as a whole is... but all around this was alright...

hmmm... i liked the metaphoers in here... not too outrageouse... but still hit hard... nice work there... i thought you took your own angle on an already played out topic... i like reading your stuff.... it flows in a nice unique way and it is pretty easy to use.... props for that... makes it easy for everyone to read plus its good for the vets and all...

great work we should collab sometime later.

check out my most recent.

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Originally Posted by Evolve

Cam you are my hero!! LOL.. In all seriousness, i thought this was flawless. The imagery, word choice.. everything worked together. The story was a little desturbing but entertaining none the less. I look forward to the rest. Well done. One

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I'd pretty much say the same thing...

Only I'd spell "disturbing" properly. Ha ha!

Yeah, Cam...this was brilliant.

And, I love a gory, sick story...so it's extra special.

Can't wait for part 2.

Peace

Wow, what you've done so far is pretty amazing man. You're just a natural storyteller, nothing in this ever felt forced or like it didn't belong... It jsut felt like I was right in the moment. The concept was amazing, a rather morbib and shocking one, but I love those because they're always the most unexpeced. At first I figured this would be about a lost love or something corny like that, but I was very pleasantly surprised. The flow was amazing, nice and unique, never fell off yet wasn't predictable. I agree with Nique saying you need to finish this though. I can't stand when people post these "to be continued" piece because 9/10 times the piece never actually gets finished... And something like this definately need to be posted as a whole. Ya, just an amazing piece... If you finished up as strong as your started I really think this could go Legendz because it really just stands out as one of the most original and detailed works I've seen in awhile. Great job man.

I'd apreciate it if you could reply to the Abstanti collab:
"Poemicoriginate"
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291509

Cam... When are you finishing this man?? Seriously, this shit was dope. Even if you dont post it.. send it to me.

very ill piece......emotion was very evident and rampant.....your wordplay was ill...your rhyme scheme was of course ill...i loved tha usage of multis and vocab....tha piece incorporated a good bit of complexity....i really enjoyed every part of it and i personaly cant wait to read the second part...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

This was damn good, I enjoyed the read by far.

Almost worth nominating, if you had written it longer.

Multis were on key, there were NO parts unexplained or just mysterious, right on point.

Nasty, and an emotional, well put together piece.

No one needs emotion when they have indepth thought, though.

I don't know which one you had, but you had it. And good job. I'd like to see more.

Personally.. I think one of the things that cam does best are these short pieces... Because to tell you the truth, he just took a played ass concept & made a beautiful piece out of it regardless... Only a few writers can do that. And I like the typically short length he uses.

^ The way I look at it, popular culture as a whole prefers the short-lived, disposable idea. I touched on this subject a few days ago with Rawk, in my SS interview (If any of you care to read it, just search in that forum ..) But basically, its all about the level of simplicity, mixed with the out-right beastly rhyme scheme. That's what we should all be aiming for. Tell the story in as short a span as you can, but absolutely MURDER the rhymescheme! I dont mean to get all ego-testicle at all, but I make this look easy. Try doing it yourselves and you'll see how hard it actually is, I put a LOT of effort into my sixteens! Lol. Good looking on that Feebs ..