"The Garden of Eden"

yo fam this was the first piece ive ever read from you and i am very impressed...this was a very hard piece to construct i admire your persistance and wordplay...very deep...ill be looking foward to more pieces to come from you..in the meantime can u check out my piece http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=277943

Damn, thanks alot for all of the feedback everyone. And, Young, you're going to have to leave more feedback than that if you expect me to leave anything worth a read on your drop.

dope as fuck, told you on aim what i think so yeh.

surprisingly, i dont think i've read an OM written to this topic
never before have i read an OM that flowed so nicely and read so easily lol
your style is so innovative and creative and your writing has matured alot since the last i've seen from you. i love the opener....really gets the readers attention and makes you think, yea..this kid knows wut he's doing lol. but actually, to tell the truth, throughout the first several lines of the piece i wasnt quite sure what u were trying to say. i got so many different meanings from it, some vague, some descriptive. but as i read on til the end i THINK i finally got it lol

Thanks for the love you guys

Booooooooooooo @ not returning the favor

:(

ight...
this was a very good piece, but i felt that it showed a brilliant poetic side, so this isnt really the right place for this drop
the imagery in this drop was really good
eg.
That last withering blink sinks
into the grasp of linking lashes
and said never again will this iris
dance in such a glimmering fashion,
but rather, latter the Mad Hatter
from the rabbit's cavernous palace
to patternless grounds of valance

the structure in this piece was good, but i felt that the flow was a bit not right for music, but really good for poetry
the rhymin in this drop was gd throughout

as i sed, this was a good drop for poetry, but it wasnt really in a rap style, but apart from tht it was a good drop

keep writin :2thumb:

Very nice, I loved the way you pulled this off. Poetically sound, and smooth due to the great choice of words. Very nice in meter and just great use of style here. Strong content, your concept's what really raised my interest, strong display of skill. This was a welcomed change from the shit I;ve been reading as of late, wonder how well it did in PS... Or if you posted in PS at all. Great writting man, love all the better writters coming back into OM. Keep them coming...

Thanks alot for the love. And na, I didn't put this in the PS forum because although it has strong poetic quality it really is an OM, and the rhyme scheme is made for a beat so that you can pretty much flow it however and the revolving rhymes schemes will do all the work for you. I've got a concept in my head right now that I'm pretty excited about so hopefully Ill stop being lazy and get that done within the next few days. Thanks again for the feedback.