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damn!, that was some tight but eary shit! It flowed descent since at some points it seemed to stagger on but the structure kept it groing. I agree with J-Stylez. You must have spent a lot of time on it. The story was good, but the rhyming could improve. Overall it's a 7/10.
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That was ill as fuck man. That was great narration... great storytelling, I liked how some things made sorta more sense as the story developed. Perhaps as others said some of the rhyming was a lil forced... but for the most part you had the flow down to perfection.
(sorry for late reply to pm... I dont have any open battles but if you got the time jus pick a link outta my sig)
cheers, thnx for the read breh.
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Fuck @ me being banned. Ah well. Thanks again.. I guess ill let this die after I let yall give alil bit more feed.
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Great piece twiz. I liked the imagery and emotion in this piece. Everything was deep and shit which is a nice attribute.
Thats all I can really say other than the part that threw me off guard about the fingering a 5 yr. old... shits creepy as fuck twiz but, went along w/ this piece !
Good stuff
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Re: Bodybag
this piece was dope, yea it was twisted but nice.. the imagery was nice n' the emotion in the piece was great, everything was good it was deep n' alos had a sick twist to it, but that sometimes what makes OM even doper when on a subject such as this 1, this was dope keep on writing son