thnx
btw what two lines
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thnx
btw what two lines
its straight
this wasn't bad... flow was text like... don't know if it would go over in audio to well... the opening didn't really grab me... it was sort of choppy... all in all good context... super new underground vibe though...
A place of sugar coated smiles, where gratitude will go a mile
Where the burglars are the only ones who’ll pull a trigger on a dial
But why? Because your trained that that’s the way to live
If I had a day to give for every disobey; id run away from sin
these r tha 2
I liked this one this line was nice
And truly feel the grasp of evil.. Its an evil you know
The same evil that tricks your mind into the people you grow
thnx av, and thnx arsensist as well
uping this
Good topic, you took it in the right direction and ran with it, found this peice to be very interesting, vocab was good, could have done a lil better with the flow/rhyme scheme, but overall a good piece...enjoyed it
thanx
rise
rise
Alright. I'm likin the flow and your approach on the Topic. Could've been better and more creative but this will do. You had imagery in your verse which was good but next time add some metaphors or something, similies, wordplays. Your piece was very Complex. You didn't have any emotion cause this wasn't a emotional Topic It seem like it was a messsage. This was good none the less..Keep writing.
=)
about time lol
Topic- It was good.
Approach- Was dope. Did a good job of staying on topic and engaging the reader.
Structure and Flow- Good. It fell off a few times, but it's cool. Flow was good.
Word play, Multies ect- Didn't really see any. But it was still dope.
Overall- You did good. I liked it. Only a few problems with structure.
Keep dropping.
weak shit...........u just saying what ever ryhmen togherer
where the fuck did you come from?
just cuz i voted against you fag