Elevation Thread.

Nice idea: elevation thread.

Critique of Godly Boarder: Nice. Nice slant rhymes, good vocab. Murdered/reworded, Gods/was, lounge/renowned-all origional rhymes. Pantomime is how the word is actually spelled but good use of it regardless. Very fresh. You have a good style keep up the good work. Might want to practice multiples but your style is fine the way it is.

Iraq War:

Got me sore to the core, in every pore like Im bein tore
can we restore?
Who knows, war is something history shows,
at every time in the past armies toe to toe,
war is constant green medic tents and rockets went,
shell casing spent chasing cross charred cement,
When the oil runs dry then will the defiled projectiles continue to fly?
Protesters continue to ask why theres never a last to die,
This is part of life death is some got a death wish,
the adder hiss deaths kiss some hit and some miss,


topic

paranoid that my girl is cheatin

i liked it u had good imagery/
good rhyme pattern/
over all i thought it was good


ya whole life will amount to nothing/
this aint pocker so y u bluffing/
im making u mad/
so get big and bad/
now start huffing and puffing/
ima skinny dude but u cant hold my weight/
naw really dude its tha beginning but now you know ya fate/
i can tell u rap for fun cuz ya flows a waste/
we bust while holding eights/
invetor of a new rap style now im going GATES..(bill gates)
(JOOK$)


TOPIC: juss lost ya job

The only attempted personal you had was the opening line. That was such a simple, obvious name-flip. If you lengthened your lines you could set up wordplay better.

Don't have to support kids, just a bunch of addictions
I thought I was done with this, constant risk of eviction
No money coming in, living the good life is just fiction
I don't live in sin, as long as I keep away from convictions
My source of funds is shot, have to go searching again
Really only liquor and pot, is to what I want to spend
A pile of applications keep my table from crashing
My personal wants and needs are forever clashing

Next topic: Train Under Water

try to make ur bars even instead of 4 bars to 2 bars keep it constant.
i liked what u had to say it was very realistic.
keep elevation u got mad potential



creep up from behind tell u to remain still/
Carl must be Crazy if hes staying in Gainesville/
ill hurt u so bad ull need insulin fuck all those pain pills/
u talkin bout name flips/
homie i got tha game gripped/
take responsible for being so shitty dont blame cliff/
ill leave ya mother filled wit sorrow/
u must be CRAZY thinking u gonna see her tomorrow/
remember i invented my own flow id neva need to borrow from CARL...(JOOK$)

next topic:about to get evicted from ya home......

Id been so busy surrounding myself with clips and roaches ..
.. That I failed to acknowledge Id been served an eviction notice.
I gripped the closest object that came to hand, set out to get a result ..
.. and headed down to the Housing Depot w/ a face like the Incredible Hulks.
The cashier started smarting off, acting clever - Mistake ..
.. I gripped round his neck with both hands, and hocked phlegm in his face.
My memories ace, I remember the scene like it was yesterday ..
.. I got 6 months for assault, but heh - at least I kept my place! :^)


Topic: Quintessential

my topic is Quintessential mabey ill drive this guy mental
if he can write ill give him a pencil so he can get lead/
wait he can get fed at the same tyme/
he cant speak rite he from the igloo land where its snow not sand/
its water not land theirs a difference in my hand cmon man/
shopw me how u roll ill show u in your poll i stand tall u stand small cause uas a midget like uuse a bitch stick u eat bitch tits man u cant spit shit

shit i forgot some lines mabey they wont ryme
they still leave u lyin on da ground u kno wut
imma make a sound cause us gay and u profound

nest topic=gold rings

Fix your flow...lol thats all i can say, your flow is way ooofff, i see how "Quintessential" and "mental" rhyme, but theere in the same line, and then in ur next line (2) "pencil" rhymed but it wasn't at the end of the line... if u made it something like..

"My topic is Quintessential, maybe ill drive this guy mental
He can't write, got no lead like a broken-pencil"

that would of been a lot better.... Your flow is just a start tho, so work on that first, cuz its most important for people to be able to read ur lines, and then u can work on other things like using personals if your gonna diss him, some good punches and openers as well, but get ur flow up first...

also im gonna diss you but no beef :0 , cuz i dont like ur topic lol.


This kid ain't got no-flow, except from where his nose-broke
More of a fag than soap-droppin'-homos/
I spit a verse so hard, to make-ya-chest-burst
Couldn't catch-ya-breath wit a breathalizer-test-reversed/
Lyrically inclined, ain't feelin his weak-little-rhymes
Couldn't think of great lines if there was a miracle-in-'minds'/
You gotta elevate, stop rhymin words for the hell-of-it
This kid more confused than his fuckin' gender-is/
A flyweight, but you couldn't fly if you hold-wings
I throw in a topic, cuz I beat your ass wit 'gold-rings'/


meh, no beef just a battle verse

Topic: Blazin' wit an old homie

iight yo that was good shit..ya shit flowed really good together..keep it up homie



this no weight is better then lyrical/
his flow'll leave u hysterical/
im more then spirtual/
i see ya lips moving but im not hearin u/
come test tha great/
u need to do more then elevate/
fuck miss Cleo I can tell ya fate/
look at all ya loss i can tell ya weight/
tha crown ima win this/
if u think u better then me check ya image/
im about to finish/
but not before tha competition is diminished...(JOOK$)


next topic:pick pocket

i pickpockets,to spit rockets,to shit phoenix,spit the meanist,
im back on da cypher, where i will rite her,
the gurl up above me, u can not shove me,
im back and im ready my flows straight and steady,
come get it then ull regret it u said it

ill leave a next topic since noob didnt ^^^
n/t Angel Dust

u might pickpocket/
but i spit hottest/
i dont gotta steal see tha ice i bought it/
its tha medalion of tha year/
my shits so colorful its like i got flowers in my ear/
im in here to expand my vocab/
I sell that sticky in to-go bags/
get that dough before u demand more slabs/
cuz u come short ya man'll get more stabs/
then scream 1,2,and 3/
who raps as hot as him u and me/
look at tha whip tha rims blue u see/
its summer time but theres still no one as cool as me....(JOOK$)

topic.... peepz fuckin up da cyph