i just did..... and thnx......
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i just did..... and thnx......
Bump Fuckers
flow fell off at points... but other than that you hit the elemtns of writing pretty decently... nice verse all around. i liked the story and the content so keep at this you had a lot goin here and a nice steady pace to it all... keep it up man....
check a scene.
This was a very long and entertaining piece. You had very strong vocab and i liked the fact that every line told the readers the next line kinda sounds sick lol. This piece had a lot of emotion and portrayed very good what you were writing. I'll be looking out for you pharoah this is the first piece i've red by you and it was good!
thnx to you two ^^
bump
yo i like it man it was hot, i could feel ur vocab eventhough some lines didnt rhyme, that didnt stand out, i was feelin the whole thing kep it up homey aight
thnx
damn yo.... this falls to the bottom of the list in seconds
Meh... The imaginary is the best aspect here in your piece, but your "punctuations" is a big problem and it's messing up the flow. Which to some people that don't mean anything, well to me it does. Anyway's you had a good vivid portrait of imagery, plus following it up with Emotion. Now the fact you do
agkl;jaoid;gja;klg;jdgl;jd,
agkj;adgj. algjadgj;ads;gj
That messes up the flow. Good Wording though...SO keep on writing but change your rhyme scheme, the conept is nice and the approach is different, nicly written (except your structure and your rhyme-scheme) this was a good OM..Peace.
thnx
yo it was hot I was feelin it all the way lack of rhymin but still good
thnx