DA Gunzz

it was nice i like the whole storyline

stay up

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by vafinest

I thought this piece was pretty good from you.The storyline was ok in this piece.Just try to work on some Imagry that is really the only problem.You had a really good structure.And I liked the metaphors too thats a plus.But the wordplay and your vocabulary was on point which was good too.Just try to put more Imagry and emotion into the verse and you'll be straight homie but overall this was a great piece from you keep up the good work homie

---

i agree

upping 4 feedback

upping 4 feedback

upping 4 feedback

uppin 4 feedback

thx 4 the feed, drop links and i will get back.........iight

It was ight not bad but it wasnt hot

Thx for all the feed pplz.........uppin

Nice Drop overall. You had some good similies, metaphors, and rhymin words. The only line I dont like is that igloo line. Other than that shit was hard and had a good flow. Stay Up keep droppin Fav Lines:

"niggaz soft like teva cloth and they call em lethal
aint nobody you can call my equal
cuz i'm asembling america like baldhead eagles
my eagle gotta 6th sense, it see all dead people
keep my rhymes safe, cuz niggaz will bite like fleas do
so when i drop you only get a preview
cuz i'm as hot as the earths core and my lines intrigue you
so go head and call da police dude
i fuck around and smack one like...
.................who you say freeze to?"

~one~

thx for the feedback.......

uppin for more feedback plz....thx to all other

Closed, and now you're on the warning list for clogging up the forum.