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maybe it was the song i was listing to on my headphones.. but it went really well together... Hear you me by jimmy eat world... anyway this was fucking awesome imo... i love the emotion it was cold but mournfull in the same way and it just... made me sad... awesome peice here incin, youv elevated alot since i last checked out one of your peices... the content in this was amazing... keep at it :)
Lol, who are you?!?!
well let me get started, you had a nice creative imagery, good emotion, thoughs are whats most important i'd say and you had them on lock, an intersting story, decent vocabulary it wasn't forced and the choice of words was very elligant, good piece overall but something i'd more enjoy in your wrtings is if you added some multiples man, get creative that wise, lots of good topical heads dont do it but its still better to have specially if you do audio, just get us to it ya know, anyway good piece liked it.
could ya rtf in my OM's links in the sig.
1
this was a good piece from you homie.I really like the storyline in your piece.When I read this it felt like I was watching my babymama having my 4 year old daughter again.Also I really felt the emotion in this piece it felt really srong to me.Also I like how you used your vocabulary in this piece too.Overall this piece was dope and I hope I see more from you man cuz this shit was dope.
Thank you.
yo this shit was nice it kept reading to know what happened next
This was a nice piece.Nice storyline.Your imagery was the best part about your piece.You were descriptive and portrayed a good imagery inside my mind.The emotion was something i could feel also,but i felt you could've drew me in further making the emotion to stand out better.I donno,maybe i just couldn't feel it that better...Your flow was nice,but i found your rhymescheme kinda simplistic for my tastes in some parts.Liked the vocabulary.A nice read.Keep writting.
Check out "Light it up"(in the sig) when you have some time.Peace!
Yeah
the descriptions in this piece were very good
imagery was great
things like including multies and maybe more vocab in places would improve this alot
otherwise this a very enjoyable read
rtf on OM lovers eyes?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...34#post3014034
be apreciated
Ill rtf later, im tired.