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good piece Sylentz...seen you have written it two weeks ago...OM is wack.you don't get many good feeds nowadays.ok,back to you man.first i'll say what i liked:the imagery was done well,the topic was good and you followed the storyline(didn't deviate at all and kept me intrested on what was to follow)...i liked very much the begining and the ending,they were well written and they kinda emphasized the whole story.the structure is good,vocabulary good(helped a lot on the imagery),a poetic drop...and now what i didn't quite like:the flow was a little off in some points and the rhymescheme became predictable after a few lines.it would've been better if you changed the rhymescheme a couple of times.but nothing to really criticize...good job!keep it up!
and if you have time please return the favour:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181482
i really would need some decent feed on this.Peace man
It was alright. Don't capitalise every word like that though, it hurts my eyes lol. Pretty good imagery though, and nice structure. Nice overall. Keep doing your thing.