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it was ok vocab was meh keep uit up work on vocab and you'll be straight
man fuck that topic 50 and the mutha fuckin game
your a lame and all you pussy's smell the same
yeah thats right i called you a female body part
you need to sit down with ya moms again and have a heart to heart
your less then 100 but more tha -100 your a zero
you can lose ya life out here tryin to be a hero
next topic - if you dog talked
if my dogg talked,i wonder what that nigga would say..
he'd probably be like.bitch get me my food,hurry up,right away,
and thean he'd probably say let's go to the park so i could sniff
some ass,and im like yo spike why talking bout some shit like that,,
and he's like that's what dog's do,shut up kid for i maul u,,
and scratch u with my claws too,,no it's time for me to lick my balls dude,,
next topic..prostitutes
these hoe's selling thier ass for the quick cash,some work it for drug's,,
just to get a fix theay sucking dick and dont know of no love,,
pimp always smaking'um around,like ho why u comeing short,,
u work the block all summer long and still in the winter going strong,,
and i dont know what for,maybe u hoe's like the fastlife.........
or maybe it's for the rock so u could stick it in your crackpipe
next topic...what if osama was caught
yo who is this dude
I aint talkin bout if my dogg can talk
I rather leave ya body on the ground
and outlined by chalk
cause you a pussy ass nigga
watered down rapper that comes outta can
fuck this lame muthafucka
32 year old still playin games muthafucka
i see you aint got much to do with ya time
why you come to rapbattles with them wack ass rymes
this nigga needs a hobby
cause you to old to be livin online
give ya moms one more hug you dumb bastard
before ya moms gotta be huggin ya casket
she be cryin and doin all that sad shit
Aight since no one knows tha point of this cypher I'ma leave feed back on Inclined's rhyme bout 50 and Game then go off his topic "If my dog talked"
Inclined, I liked tha rhyme and flow, but I thought personally you should have stayed on tha topic provided, you know, just wrote bout what u truly thought bout it all and let us know your prospective
If My Dog Talked
If I woke up one day and my dog was staring at me
I'de ask him if he had to go out, but what if he answered me!!?
I'de prolly flip shit, flip my sheets and start wonderin
Did that foo just say sumpthin...this I'de be ponderin
Then I come up from out tha covers and say "Ay, Ecko!" <(my dog's name)
Dog turn to me and say, "Yeah bro?"
"holy shit, no way you fuckin talkin?"
Dog be like, "What you think all I wanna do is be barkin?"
So I'de get down wit Ecko and say lets hit tha block
Just let me grab my boots and could you bring me some socks
"Hell no Jay get them stinky bitches yourself, you got two arms, two legs you don't need no help!"
Now I be trippin cause this dog just like me, just my boys
"Ahhh go back to being a dog, when you didn't talk is what I enjoyed!"
Cause dogs suppose to listen when you got to vent your problems
This dog now talkin so it gon' see how I got them
topic: From-Unda-Cheese
ayo that was nice shit..it made me laugh like""holy shit, no way you fuckin talkin?"
Dog be like, "What you think all I wanna do is be barkin?"..that was mad funny good on staying on topic..
ayo im from unda chesse
that means ill leave ya feet
n take the legs from unda ya knees
believe I love G's nething i can succeed
plus im the SHIT so im sittin on green
to tell u the truth i dont understand this topic
haters telling me to quit.STOP IT.my rap vision is optic
as u can tell im a great rapper on or off subject
stay with an itchy flow u cant rub it.. man U know u love it
style and finess is what i come with a big dick is what im hung with
i can make the dead walk im talking bout Christopher Reeves(rip superman)
hold up let me roll up my sleeves n ill put this cheese unda the leaves..
i know i dont have grat structure but oh well..
big ups to my boy RECLEZ n WORD SLINGA...
Next topic..what would u do if u were the King of a country
man if i was the king of the country...
i'll make sure that nobody can take shit from me....
and keep those close who LOVE ME....
been wishing for this since i was a young G.....
i'll build rap booths on every block...
break day in it to punch out the clock....
put the world in a HEAD LOCK.....
im goofin in this THREAD DOCK....
its a freestyle and its still worth the elevation thread
cause i spit lines that leave lacerations on your head
i pay no mind to those blabbing that they can beat me
im a pot when it comes to ryhmes..yes im THAT GREAZY
all this negative attitude to bother..it just FEEDS ME
yo jook you know your verse was hot so i aint even gonna comment on that but listen...im a start a crew son..and im dead up bout this son...holla at your boy...and lets get this popping
fam u know that was nice..but u didnt leave a topic..i have no choice
iight this is the beginning u herbs.. its Jookz slingin the words..
this cat rapping with nouns while im bringing n verbs..
u got a thousand posts.. but i dont mean to drown ya hope..
i got more position of power then Bush n our man the pope..
dont get me wrong this cat is still a great artist.. n tries his hardest..
to lyrically rape artists..plus he expects for his punches to be the sharpest..
Two magnificent Mcs.. are me and Mr.NYC(wordslinga).. all you need.. now is the lord to believe.. by what u read..
i dont want you to greeve.. but for our highest rap capability we are ready to bleed.
thats whats up right there.. it might not of made sense to yall but i thought it was pretty damn good for a quick freestyle..FEEDBACK plz
N/T what is your dream job
honestly J0okz I was feelin the rhythm when readin and rhymin it to how I thought it was flowin....I like it you got my props
DREAM JOB
Man I would love to be a rapper who's famous or maybe play in tha NBA
Rippin mics up in battles and dunkin over players puttin they ass to shame
Having tours ar0und tha world so I could make some change
Or hittin them jumpers from outside tha ark, cause my skills got range
Being respected for what I write down would definetly be an ackomplishment
Or taking most points in a game from Wilt and rebounds from Rodman
Be known in tha rap world as one big ass problem
Being known as a threat out on tha court
Still saggy as pants, or straight team shorts
Tha job I got now pays good but I would love a divorce
If I could have a dream job it would be rappin or rackin tha boardsfeedback...
topic: Peeping Tom outside ya window
it was alright, i liked the direction but the flow seemed kind of rigid, the rhymes themselves were pretty good tho.
Peeping "tom"
last tuesday i was in my room all alone and undressing
whos is they? i thought to my self ,lookin out and guessing
there was 3 fine bitches sitting right outside my window
asses so fat the branch they were on broke when the wind blow
oh shit! i ran outside quickly to see if they needed help
but before i keep goin i should tell you theses bitches were top shelf
before i could speak a word they just grabbed me and started to touch
perfect timin my high was peak so droped the drawerss and made the lady's blush
so there it was, right there in the middle of the driveway
and when we were done they said next time could be a 5-way
N/T cant find your keys(car keys)
Yo dude it was aiigt, was quite funny.
Not many punchlines, if any at all.
Cud see a bit of a flow to it, but it broke up at some places. Maybe cos there were 2 many filla words in there at points, but on the whole, made me laugh at the idea so gd effort.
Cant find My keys.
Boss i cant make it today, listen to me please,
I was with this Girl ALICIA and i picked up her KEYS.
Dont know how imma get em back, cos i didnt take her number,
I was Blind Drunk, We were at a Club, we were dancing the fukin Rumba.
Yea We went back to hers, but i dont know where she lives At,
I cant go back there, cos i Remember this Bitch was Very Fat,
I mean no lie this Girl was Notoriously BIG,
Fuck a Baker, She had more Rolls than a FIG.
And my wife finds out that i've got some one elses keys,
She'll be Like "Nigga Please" U better Breeze, Before i break your fukin Knees.
Next Topic - Uve been framed for murder
im ruthless, but leavin a dead man toothless...that aint me
not that i wont knock yah grill out, im far from a murderer G
so says me, but the judge, jury, and public think differently
aint no matter....ima post bail and be out as quick as can b
but then it hits me, this is America, land of oppurtuinity home of the free
n i didnt kill this man, so theres no way they can convict me
besides i've got way to much pride to act bitch n run and hide
cause they can frame me all they want...
but they'll never frame the murals inside
Topic : Reincarnation
you need to work on your structure some
try incorporating multies into your rhymes
keep a constant flow
franklyn, you stank man, i just be saying it frankly
off on probation, reincarnation, trying to be something you can't be?
named after a tortoise, but he's rappin with hares
his flow so off he don't know what happens with snares
vastly unfair, the way he's trapped, no one cares
i'm off on a tangent, but damn it, dog is stagnant
he just needs to revamp his spits and he has it fixed
perhaps uncramp his wit with some cannibus ;)
next topic: indigenous holocaust