Strange Fruit: A Portrait of a Holiday

Apologize for the quick feedback, but you know I'm not trying to get posts and all that bullshit, lol. Great piece, I usually dislike your style because I'm into the shorter, multi based, emotion packed pieces (e.g. Cam's, Volve's, Nique's, etc) - But this was...different. The first picture threw me off big time, because the piece didn't seem to have much to do with that. But you did a nice job of not being overblown with vocabulary here, and it was rhythmic. I doubt anyone mentioned this, but for some reason I especially liked the chorus... most of all, this part "..locked in song by a songstress in a timeless hymn...". Can't give much feedback, I suck, but .. nice job

Thanks for the feedback on my piece. I thought that this was awesome, at times sometimes I'm not feelin' the scheme of this, it's more of a Nas kind of lyric, like something that never really finishes a punch but just kind of keeps flowing, which was tremendous, but at times I think it got a little outside of its own box.

The subject was classic, and the wordplay was beyond compliment. Really stellar stuff. I've commented on pieces that use too many complex , four-or-more syllable words that tend to cut the rhythm to shreds at the expense of wordplay, but this was not the case here.

Thanks for reading my work and a pleasure to read yours.

Engivale

Just.. wow.

This is very, very well written.
The imagry was like a vivid dream, I really enjoyed reading this piece.
Haven't seen anything like it, so I was impressed with this one..

Quote:

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or the timeless type in bold print, bound by his ways in life
so I raise waves in ink, Poseidon like, & never the silent type

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Poseidon like, & never the silent type* ^really dope I felt this line (the ending of it in particular)
I also really liked the repetition of the first lines (repeated in the ending) It gives almost an echo effect to the piece. As for the story, I like how you merged complication with anguish and defeat. The lines slide together, like butter.. and the emotion was flawless.

Stay up,

Rtf
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302901
Peace.

Not sure if i'v replied or left commetns to this, but i can't be asked to check the next 3 pages
.
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Anywya, this was a very well written om, i liked the changes in rhymeschem, though sudden changes they were subtle and didn't have a negative affect instead allowed you to use different rhymes whilst the flow still carried.I liked the descriptive parts as they allowed me to picture images in my mind whilst reading and the metaphoirc sentences were excellent as they were more advanced and devloped meta's and were quite impressive. The way you rhymed about the life of Billie Holiday was good also, only time i've heard of her was in tupacs song, "Thugz Mansion" so in honesty i don't really know her music muhc. That though will change as i will listen and see her style of music soon. Back to your piece, then yeah it's very well written like i'v said before. Overall, a very interesting piece, metaphorically advanced and enjoyable...Stay up

Preciate it if you could check my new om, "The Coffee Soldiers", thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30288
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302883

I have to say first of all that this piece seriously touched me.

The song made the piece even that much deeper. The sound of her voice brought your words to life. The piece had a voice to it. A soothing yet strong one at the same time. The flow of it was perfect in my eyes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bounce

Someone once told me, a great writer makes a choice in life
voice of night consoling lonely wives bound by page and light
or the timeless type in bold print, bound by his ways in life
so I raise waves in ink, Poseidon like, & never the silent type
violence ripe, I script bruised fruit! Some fell from the trees
as others hung from the noose. I'm painting that strange fruit
portrait of a Holiday, a heroine bulls-eyed on opiates cut loose

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That right there itself made me want to read into the piece. Your multi's and rhyme scheme, with the smoothness of your word choice just left me in utter awe. Not forced at all. Then when you started to talk about her life, just made it beautiful.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bounce

on dart-boards over-used, tracks of which tell a dark tale or two
Smack down, syringe plunged deep in mainlines, numb veins
pump candy for strained minds, on back-drops of stained lives
heated spoons & cotton balls, cop a squat & watch'em crawl
in a funk so thick, because filth covered pores prolong the next fix
so she swims in white water rapids despite the white collar tactics
deployed & fixed by the system, she pours her soul onto plastic
to blast hits, the type to tops charts & celebrate w/ new pricks
not to imply she's promiscuous, but this seed's of another tip
shooting juice to blow into another trip, a new haze in a daze
gone by, un phased by her ways played in another jazz club dive
alive, pouring soul into a metal box, smoke wafts thru dim light
as pianos play soft, off to stage right, she's only a silhouette
in a sea of cigarettes & candle light, like velvet wings in flight
her voice soars high over soothing waves on moonlit nights
she sings of sorrows seen in life & scenes of tearful things alike

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This depicted many vivid pictures in my mind. Gave me a certain type of feeling as I was reading it. And again, while I heard her voice actually made me feel it. Definitely deep. I don't know what to say to you. The imagery was at a different level here. The piece was just brought to life. Your emotion flowed through the whole thing. Originality was definitely a given because in my time I've never seen anything like this done before. Multi's were good and you flowed very well. Never stopped or got choppy through the whole piece. The piece just had a deeper meaning to it then just words on a page. It actually inspired me.

Amazing Bounce. That's the only word I can give it. Definitely HoF material. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated on any of my pieces. I definitely want to see more for you. I really enjoyed the read.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302754
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302801
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302898

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord of Pens

I have to say first of all that this piece seriously touched me.

The song made the piece even that much deeper. The sound of her voice brought your words to life. The piece had a voice to it. A soothing yet strong one at the same time. The flow of it was perfect in my eyes.



That right there itself made me want to read into the piece. Your multi's and rhyme scheme, with the smoothness of your word choice just left me in utter awe. Not forced at all. Then when you started to talk about her life, just made it beautiful.



This depicted many vivid pictures in my mind. Gave me a certain type of feeling as I was reading it. And again, while I heard her voice actually made me feel it. Definitely deep. I don't know what to say to you. The imagery was at a different level here. The piece was just brought to life. Your emotion flowed through the whole thing. Originality was definitely a given because in my time I've never seen anything like this done before. Multi's were good and you flowed very well. Never stopped or got choppy through the whole piece. The piece just had a deeper meaning to it then just words on a page. It actually inspired me.

Amazing Bounce. That's the only word I can give it. Definitely HoF material. Your opinion would be greatly appreciated on any of my pieces. I definitely want to see more for you. I really enjoyed the read.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302754
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302801
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=302898

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Sorry for the inconvenience of me posting again. It's just that the first time my comp. messed up and the post didn't register. I apologize Bounce.

hmmmm This was a nice topic great concept but anywho that pic kinda set ouff this topic to be great and I loved the dope display fo imagery you had as well as concepts throughtout the main it'self you also really had some creative lines throughout the whole piece nothing here really forced at all but all though complexity really showed this piece was flexible to many points and even knowing thw words in bold were your shortest stanza's I believe that they were the most powerful of the peice this piece was overall dope and another nice drop by you bounce keep at it man I have my respect for you...

plz hit this link up....

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303086

thanks

Bounce u did it again man. u had another dope ass piece. that hook at the end wrapped it up perfectly when i saw that i was OMFG Bounce did dat shit again. man imagery was excellent. wordplay was excellent. metaphors was excellent. diction was excellent. man everything about this piece was excellent. man. when i first read that hook at the beginning i was think ohhh no bounce aint as good as he used to be but then i read it i was damn dis dude is probably better now than he ever was. all i can say is dope man. i nominated this for the Hall Of Fame. its most definitely worthy of it Bounce great job

thanks for all the looks guys, peep paper noose if you liked this...

.....speechless.................

i haven't been around much, so i dunno - maybe this is just how you write now...

I mean you've always been good, but this was a whole nother level - dope shit, made me feel padawan

nice way wit da wordz