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Cannibalistic needs caused by sinful greed’s
That come from demonic seeds, man heeds
His heart bleeds, Eternal ones mistake leads
good multies, but it would be better if you worked in multisyllablized them, because the flow was a bit choppy there... overall pretty nice piece, vocab was cool, stan amans thing was smart, and good wordplay... i like this hidden diaries stuff.. nice pieces
hit up This Old Tounge, links in my sig
Preciate the pointers and i've checked you OM
Ok, I've read the piece twice over and I actually liked it. Not for the content itself, but for the fact you are writing pieces that will make me read again. It takes quite a bit for writers on Rb to catch my attention unless I know its gonna be a good read. & for the mechanics, this was good, a little bland in some areas, which made it flow choppy. Aside from the content being over-used, as most religious concepts are, this was cool. If I'm going to read a piece about the belief of a struggle by two major powers such as Satan/God.. I wanna be intrigued and glued to the piece with powerful meta's and comparisons that make your piece stand out, but sadly it didn't hit aswell. Taking nothing away from you, dude.. this was an above average piece, and deserves its props.
Quote:
Originally Posted by D.H.Brixton
Preciate the comments, reason for the whole satan god topic was that this was an ending to the hidden Diaries trioligy
Shot to the toppin so now i'm uppin'
Yo man i'll have my crew leave feed. this peice deserves to get Feed.
Appreciate the thought
uppin
very nice peice....nice topic..intresting and creative.....
rhymes were good overall and flow was nice and smooth...
strucutre was good....vocab was pretty good'....
imagery and complexity was nicely done...good drop overall
keep it up...and hey check out my battle, link in sig..thanks