ight thanx uppin for more feed
Printable View
ight thanx uppin for more feed
Rise...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Word.Play
well you know i'm down if you do.......
yo tech this shit is hard yo
thanx more feed plz
that was some deep shit. the lyrics were ok.
but the topic made me wanna keep reading.
good shit
thanx uppin for more feeed
thaks for the feed on my first om
your shit is good man I don't think it needs to be any bigger.
deep emotion had some nice multis and wordplay... ur stressed ur views in a creative way which helped the reader understand... but ur color choices made it hard to read on some verses... other then that nice peace...
some deep shit..
uppin
The first verse was simplistic however the
emotion was felt. The flow scheme was there
but the word usage was par. There were lines
that struck me...
"dats why i sit in my room listening to life goes on
i know my nigga's are at da right side of da throne
holden on to god's hand they are part of god's plan"
Yes being part of God's plan is essential in life..
so that line struc me in away because you mentioned
God's plan...
The second verse..
"I guess im passin cuz im the only one left my niggaz,
But sadly im weak to fight cuz of weeks of weepin, sleepless nights,
Yet I keep my peeps alright and tho beef is tight i still speak my rights,'
Like those lines, emotional.
Nice flow scheme and pretty good
word usage well done.
Pretty cool peace stay elevating both
of you.
Might aswell up this too