Appreciate all the feedback on this :whacky:
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Appreciate all the feedback on this :whacky:
yo tis shit was deep wit imaging like both pieces liked how it went both had good shit and all
for jek i liked
I loose myself in character - plots and subplots that move in stealth
I knew too well, that things would unravel this way, toward death
Destruction and panic set themselves, destined suicide’s a safe bet
Yet unpaid debt amounts, surmounts what’s feasible or logical
for nemik i liked
Find creation in sporadic inanimateness under the lit halogenous
& convert that palette of thoughts like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Into the main focus of my token expertise, bleed an expert thesis
exert reasons to oil the cogs and mind mechanics of my cerebrum
It's only part of the secretion from my grand scheme completion
that's ever seeping deep within the screens of you obsolete beings
* Out of the shadows hardend penis, he appears *Quote:
Appreciate all the feedback on this
^LOL
was that really necessary? ;)
First verse was solid by all counts, the word choice here was just right. I got pictures forming in my head, so the imagery was there, this was above the bar compared to most OM now days. Great job on this verse, better than I would have imagined by the tittle, well done. Second verse I kind of had a few issues with the read, but that had nothing to do with the verse, it was me. Kind of tired and the strucutre you went with, kind of made me read it choppy, but after I adjusted myself, and looked deeper into the verse, I absolutley enjoyed this. I like the originality here, concept wise this was very good. Imust say that this waas better than most the OM's I read this month, honestly, it just was...
LMFAO at using that marry popins word in your rhyme scheme, shit cracked me up. I was like, damn where is this going now, what word will fit, I didn't see it coming...
Props to you guy's...
^ Thanks greatly for the reply man, you know it is real appreciated.
Last post in this thread - really this time!
damnnnn, this was real dope. strucutre was incredible, even lines smooth flow, great job on dat, great choice on vocab and complexity, really worked out great with topic, rhymes were really good, great jon on dat, topic was interesting, great job both of you, great job, keep droppin and keep it up!!!!!!!!!!!!