Just feel like doing this...Up for Legends...Hoo~~Ray~~~~
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Just feel like doing this...Up for Legends...Hoo~~Ray~~~~
Nice opener - I'm thinking this is a philosophical piece and then the brutality hits - very attention grabbing. Good description as usual. Saw a good number of multi's and internals - they kept the piece flowing. I thought it was interesting how the kinda footnote (background info part) was longer than the present action parts - I think you could maybe expand the beginning and end so this wasn't the case. Nice closer - I was confused though. You didn't mention "Ashe" at any previous point - that I saw - so it threw me off a little. Very nice as usual though - thnx for taking the time to read mine.
um.
nice.
The imagery was good and wordplay
off the hook, the vocabulary showed
knowledge but theres something u should
work on ... origionality and impact
at the end i felt lost...the riseing action
towards the ending should be very clear
good imagery and dont stray off into
diff things....but to the death of his lil brother.
mabey should of mentioned that there was
a lil brother more throughout the story.
But overall you got the peice good.
. . . . .. drop smore.
ive gotta come back in and say this is WHACK WHACK WHACK....LOL.... hit my latest.... id say sorry bout the freepost, but i aint...lmao
^Hello my Uk friend...Quote:
Originally Posted by Dev
Bump it up...Up for Legends... :) <-Wow
Bring back a classic :)
lol good but not exactly classic...read this before.. i swear i left feedback...
but what's left to say what other's haven't????
your dope yup... i agree...he's dope...sure yea...
lol...good piece
^Well thank you there my friend :)