First Contact

&^^^^

Yeah, def. had a poetry feel to it.

The piece was unique and stood out alot. The vocab was above average and the imagery and description was good. You did a pretty good job of wording this aswell. I'm sure others can relate too which makes the reader get a better & more personal understanding. My fav. was the first bar, you took what was cliche and flipped it.

Good drop Novade.

Thanks

/awaits feed/

......

Upity.

Up.

i liked this alot , you had a good use of multis and a nice rhyme scheme in there, I also liked the words you were using aswell , it did make it seem very poetic. Yeahh man keep it up! 8/10

thanks much,up

Thought this was a real soid drop nothing negative to. Say about this one bro. Felt th imagery, that's were you really shine man tons of imagery and solid deepconcepts/ thoughts werd nice drop playa peace

Quote:

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An invocation of interest, while the infinite prose’s
To be written then exposed with, a heart full of gold
And a tongue full of slogans, of the lock on my soul

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Great lines....loved this drop overall....great job...

thank ya

Quote:

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I was selling myself, now I’m buying you roses

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I like that there. Well, this submission was very emotional in tone and style. The word choice was - it seemed you were trying too hard to use complex word choices instead of being descriptive of the moment in a natural and essential way. In your next verse to come, don't try to sound so intelligent in writing. Another problem I had is your grammatical errors. Touch up on that. I had your problem years ago, bringing too much wording into the story without adequate meaning and relevance. Shave it down, be more blunt and mysterious. We are curious people. And, the storyline has been done to death, coincidently. Be unique, be less passionate and more theatrical. You are too poetic and lacking in climactic material. Another writer with potential, I enjoyed the imagry in this verse a lot. Keep writing, your next submission should be mapped out like a movie, beginning, middle, climax, ending. Make sure it would be good in theatres...we will see what you come up with.

I gotta say. This was nice. Im not much of a dude to point out every baby mistake because in this verse, I dont think there were any. YOur wordplay was nice and this was a good one.


Check out My open mic

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...341/index.html

Thanks..