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Re: Nightmares
this was a really good write, I like how your mind thinks, espically like how you hit serious shit and still keep that kinda grimy style you got, Off the hook shit, basic rhymes, real good vocab, the layout of it was good, I could learn a thing or two off you homie
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Re: Nightmares
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Re: Nightmares
very interesting peice. nice concept throughout. excellent imagery and vocab consistantly. good rhymes and multies. basically just a dope read. it may have been long but it never got boring to me so props for that. very good peice. keep writing man.
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Re: Nightmares
Much appreciated yo.
Upping.
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Re: Nightmares
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Re: Nightmares
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Re: Nightmares
This was a well crafted piece...it had all the technicallities covered...the stroyline seemed to be quite creative in content..and the rhyme scheme was flawless...I love how you interpreted your multi's into the flow..it made it more easier to read...there were really no big flaws with this piece...so just keep writing and elevating..and RTF...pls...
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Re: Nightmares
yea im feeling this u a problem dazz wazz up ma dude
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Re: Nightmares
Very dope, the topic seemed pretty bland, but he content was very unexpected from someone new onto this site, the storyline stood up well and seemed very controversial, like with the obama statement and you made me lol at the howard comment I experianced personally an wide variety of emotions that was consumed from this piece you vocab was accurate and didn't feel out of place at all, this piece blew out all of the other piece's I read in the past real talk, well atleast recently, you had that whole politicial,controversial and personal atmosphere going for you in this piece, good job, can you please leave a quality critique on my piece's in my sig.
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Re: Nightmares
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Re: Nightmares
snaps this was a damn good piece written imagery was hot.
everything was put together nicely.
My location changes but still I remain enchained in
…painful chains and … the hazy state my brains in
Awaken in a bed, letters blazoned on the wall…
“Welcome to the clinic, come one…come all!”
In it a ‘patient’s’ shaking … they drill, I begin praying
A lady’s saying blatantly, “We’ll kill your children safely.”
Suddenly, the floor is torn asunder, still they brace me
A mega stadium filled with over forty million babies
…They grow before my eyes, in turn I’m in awe…
I see musicians, physicians, leaders, attorneys at law
Americans settled in niches, different, learning yet flawed
…as any normal human is … yearning to claw
to the top but they stop sharply, abruptly and pause
a swarm inserts blades into their skulls and their jaws
Battalions of abortionists, its what they were taught
Slowly the people burn… not as wanted as they thought
damn.. a ongoing distorted image was well written.
nice.