Re: Eye For An Eye ft. Grimreapa
Let me just say first of all, loved the story. Omg. Very good.
Mariah, loved it. You really caught the emotion and drew the reader in. Very nice. You made it feel so hopeful. I like that you made a personal connection with the girl and the drug with them having the same name.
Grim, wasn't really feelin your style. It just didn't seem to fit the part. I didn't feel like you were speaking as a father. And honestly, I don't believe any father does not care at all for his little girl. Even a drunk one. Otherwise, why would he have killed himself at the end? If he didn't care about her and what she was doing with herself and her life, than it wouldn't have mattered to him and he would've gone on living his drunken life.
Re: Eye For An Eye ft. Grimreapa
^ because of self-realization. Really liked this piece, I read it awhile back but I've only just found time give feed. I really like how two completely different styles blended so well. For fifteen minutes, this was pretty well written, a couple miniscule word misplacements, but nothing drastic. Grim I've read quite a bit of your work and it's dope how you change your style constantly, but always progress. Whatever style you choose it's always the right one for the topic, no wonder you've made it so fat in SS. Mariah, you shine a lot on collaborations, like I told you in the other one I responded to. Since you're so young, I'm actually kinda of scared to see how far you can come with it. Anyway, props and keep doing your thing
Re: Eye For An Eye ft. Grimreapa
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bev
Let me just say first of all, loved the story. Omg. Very good.
Mariah, loved it. You really caught the emotion and drew the reader in. Very nice. You made it feel so hopeful. I like that you made a personal connection with the girl and the drug with them having the same name.
Grim, wasn't really feelin your style. It just didn't seem to fit the part. I didn't feel like you were speaking as a father. And honestly, I don't believe any father does not care at all for his little girl. Even a drunk one. Otherwise, why would he have killed himself at the end? If he didn't care about her and what she was doing with herself and her life, than it wouldn't have mattered to him and he would've gone on living his drunken life.
lmfao...that was the point of the storyline me not caring the realising wtf happend...dumb ass... :boobies:
