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my honest o=.a lot of the rhymes seemed like uhm obviously coming and not that much intersesting to me as such.......... had a fair slice of violent imagery between ya'll............flow was consistant enough in text sense...........
nothing amzing hit me concept wise ....... or rhyme - wise. but still the piece was closely nitted and worth the effort still coz the ish was decent but not knock out or anything
bless
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This piece was okay...or should i say the first two verses were okay...the last one is what did it for me...idk it seems like the first two followed the same rhyme scheme and it got kind of repetitive i guess you could say...
but this was a good piece to read i have to say...nice concept but i think it is overly played out..but u mixed it up enough to make it valid..but overall i give it a 7/10...it was alright for me..wasnt terrible..
if u would rtf on my OM "The American Dream" it would be much appreciated.
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^^What he said...
Last Upp.
up from me
cool. you used some words in the wrong context though. i could see and tell what you were thinking when you typed up the piece, but your ideas werent executed as well as you would've hoped... the opening line to the entire bit was pretty strong, and it was basically all consistant from there on. vocabulary was strong, but remember, DONT sacrifice vocab for flow... i could tell you wanted to that... if its your style, like pakaveli's.. then you guys should try and make it mesh better. good jobn anyway
hit up "The Future Presents: Puppet Show!"
rise
this was a good piece. great imagery, especially the 1st and last scenarios because those were very structured and detailed well. loved the whole concept of "Birth and Childhood" because i believe thats how all kids feel when growing up, especially back then, it was very real i could relate to it. "Adulthood" was very good in detail as well, just thought it could be better presented, the flow stayed on point for the most part but that section didnt grab me the way the 1st one did, probably cause i'm in that stage now. "Old Age & Death" was very beautiful, and true. thats how it will most likely end, i like the word choice and depiction those words gave me. overall this piece was well written/put together foreally
oh, hit this up my dudez
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318800 :)