What Is America

BUMP

Feeble summed my thoughts exactly

This was ok, but didnt have any punch, didnt expand on your topic or go into any depth
It skimmed the surface without breaking any new ground

Rhyme scheme was ok for like 3 lines then went awol in parts, but besides that the writing fell apart based on the lack of originality and vision to pull the dorp off with such a heavy title as 'what is america'
Wasn't wack but try to work on focuses your maerial, then shit will happen!

PS if you got a minute please drop a reply to 'In the palm of your hand'

-Out-

Thankx for the feed

^^^^I disagree even though it does seem to me that this topic is done over and over and over...u still found a way to make yours sway in a different direction...this was a good short read and i liked how u wrote it...had a few moments where i couldnt quite catch the flow but those are minor setbacks...overall this piece wasnt too bad but it could've been a bit better....lookin forward for more pieces...

Thankx Ill.............................BUMP