The Long Journey Home

This was a decent read like everybody else is saying. I liked your descriptions and what not but there is something about your writing that I'm gonna' go ahead and point out. One of my pet peeves is when people frequently switch up tenses for no apparently rhyme or reason. Here's an example of what I mean:

Quote:

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The birds voices faded as the razorlight moon arrives on shift,

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If the birds voices are faded, then then moon should have arrived, not arrives. Maybe it seems inconsequential, but I were voting in whatever battle you used this in, it's something I'd hold against you, albeit not too much. But yeah, have a look because you did it often. A lot of people tend to do that, but you'll notice that the reeeeally good writers don't. Just something to keep in mind that most people wouldn't bother pointing out.