Road To Glory.

thanks for the feed
upp

Its been long and hard at times
Theres been many hills to climb
---> not the catchiest of openers
Sold some rhymes…here and there
Never had a breath of fresh air…
---> kind of repetitive of the first line.. like the concept
Maybe god will answer my prayer..
Or maybe not maybe im stuck left to rot
---> these two lines don't rhyme
Ive always wanted to sell my first joint.
Wanted to be like eminem and get my points..
---> getting into more detail, better
Thru music of course..to write ive never been forced..
Now its time for her to show remorse…
---> good rhyme scheme.. i like this bar
have gone thru pain…but now time to be sane..
take what ever I have and make it a sayin..
---> saw the rhyme you were goin before but doesn't work too well
I dropped many things jus cause of my girl..
this aint about her its bout my choice,my world
---> good
If theres anything really good about life…
Its that feeling you get…when u use your first knife
---> reword but good concept
now I know…that we are all here for something…
Cause some people deserve things and get nothing…
---> best bar so far
But I was offered my deal...now to sign and make it sealed..
wanna keep this…but my thoughts are spinnin like a wheel..
---> like this bar too, a lil too vague in the wording though
know do I want to do…stay here put up with the bullshit I go thru
---> maybe a typo, but doesn't really make sense, at least the 1st part, and watch structure .. keep structure consistent
I stayed once and it turned out as a mistake…
some times in life you gotta make choice u don’t wanna make…
---> good
These thoughts aint...fake ive givin it some really deep thought..
But stayin here has taught me a lot..
--->not a great rhyme scheme on these lines
So im signing this…I don’t if its people im gonna miss…
leaving Friday that’s final...i jus wanna give her a final kiss
---> good bar, conclusion is there

i liked this piece, wording was a little below average but the concept of struggling with a choice btw a loved one and a career was good; at times you were a little vague and running of course a bit, but most of the time you were on point and into what you were saying. you needed the last bar to i think really some up where you were going with this. but good piece as always dj

hmm thanks man...uppin

Its been long and hard at times - i dont wanna kno

this piece was gd, the main features were the flow and the rhyming
the emotion in this piece was also gd and that seems to be 1 of your strong points

keep writin

Quote:

---

If theres anything really good about life…
Its that feeling you get…when u use your first knife
now I know…that we are all here for something…
Cause some people deserve things and get nothing…
But I was offered my deal...now to sign and make it sealed..
wanna keep this…but my thoughts are spinnin like a wheel..
know do I want to do…stay here put up with the bullshit I go thru
I stayed once and it turned out as a mistake…
some times in life you gotta make choice u don’t wanna make…
These thoughts aint...fake ive givin it some really deep thought..
But stayin here has taught me a lot..
So im signing this…I don’t if its people im gonna miss…
leaving Friday that’s final...i jus wanna give her a final kiss

---

This part of your drop had me thinkin and thinkin and thinkin and thinkin
...i dont know what to say ya know i just felt this shit from the heart...
this whole drop was reference to your feelings about makin it...and thats sumthin
thats heart felt...that every emcee dreams about...nowadays image overrides skill but'
i personally feel if u keep doin yaself aint no fake goin hold you back...this shit is a
must read to all emcees...the feelin in it was just overall the real deal...i enjoyed this piece forreal...good work...and thats one of the reasons we gotta collab...