uppin 2.
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uppin 2.
uppin 4....wtf at the views but no votes :|
Vik- Your verse was decent at best, there was nothing too showy about your verse. I liked the fact that it was to the point, but there was no complexity, no underlying meaning, nothing really to keep me reading except that I wanna have the 1st vote. :) Other than that, I saw your vocab was there, but some of it didn't fit. such as embark, it's not a synonym for endure, and things like that make your verse seem very newbish, Like your trying to stick words where they don't belong. This verse was decent, but you could have done better with the topic, not that the story was bad...or the topic, just the approach seems original, nothing too creative. Still a decent verse, but you should work on your material.
Ladie- your verse lacked complexity as well. It was also a decent verse, but nothing too showy about it. Your verse didn't have the vocabulary Viks did, nor the flow. Your strucutre was about equal, but the story and topic seemed better in your story. Although your approach was just as original and non-creative as Viks. You should probably work on the vocabulary a bit, and then work on the complexit of your story, have a twist on the ending or something. And don't repeat yourself too much, or give yourself away, before the end. And the quotes, I'd like to say nice job too...but the father's part was harsh and cruel, and I refuse to believe a father would ever say that to his daughter..it could happen but it's unlikely..try to keep it a bit more realistic.
Both of you had decent verses, and you could both still use a lot of work. Read more OM's, and use the cypher I guess. This is a close battle but I think the edge is with vikkie for better usage of vocabulary, and a more realistic verse. It's no hate to either of you, and I don't want you to think that's what this was. It was a critical review to help you two grow topically. :2thumb:
v/Vikkie
hit a link in my sig plz.
kk thx for the vote
and actually its only half of a real letter...b/c my best friends
father wrote that to her...so yea it was true lol
but yea uppin this...
Thank You. uppin 3.
i think youngladie had betta rhymes and betta structure then da otha person................... .................................................. .....
^ it's a good thing you can't poll that unexplained vote you fag. uppin 4.
sum heavy lyrics but i givin it a vote 2 both of you as i fink ya was evenly matched!!
thnx uppin
this is how I'm gonna put it
YungVik-You did really good in this battle but theres a couple of things you need to work on.For one upp your vocabulary cuz in your piece the vocabulary seem too simple.The other thing try to use some multis it will make your piece sound better.But overall your piece was pretty good.You had real good Imagry cuz when I read your piece I could picture what was going on in your piece.And the emotion was pretty strong but I think you need to try to get deeper with it.And your structure was good but your vocabulary needs to be upp some cuz alot of the vocabulary was basic.
YoungLadie-You did good in this battle but I felt that you could have went deeper with your emotion in your piece.Not saying you did bad its just I couldn't really feel the emotion alot in your piece.And also you need to upp your vocabulary too.Your Imagry was pretty good.Your structure was aight.But I would try to use some multis every once in a while cuz sometimes it makes the piece sound better.
To both people-Yall both did good in this battle but yall need to upp your game a lil bit.Yall should go look at some of the writers pieces that are in the SS league and get an idea of a strong piece cuz it will really help yall out cuz it has helped me out at times and helped me Improve on my writing.
but after reading both pieces in this battle I came up with a final descion and Yungvik gets my vote
vote/Yungvik
Vik- You did really good although i still do not believe u have reached your full potential. Your structure and the overall layout of your piece was on point but i think u could have slightly expanded your vocabulary. Also i think that your imagery could have been better because i can see what your capable of
youngladie- I think you did pretty good in this 1 also but as i told vik u need to expand on your vocabulary and imagery but i think your downfall was your flow and structure, it was sorta choppy but was still a pretty good piece
v/YungVik
YV-...hey good delivery and structure...ur approach was pretty advanced and thats prolly why ur in Hidden Talent (*Round Of Applause*)...but also i want u to realize that i promote the wording u use match your structure more through...next time aim for larger words to make a bigger impact...good job...
YL-Hey Ladie i liked your words used and expressions that seemed from the heart but ur structure has to b evened along with a different font to give a formal look to your topical...with those qualities u'll get better reads and more votes...trust me...structure and font r the first thing an eye catches before the words used whether anyone admits it or not...so make sure ur drop stands out from the opponents' drop...overall i liked wat u said and how u said it...
*No Voting Becuz YV is not only in the squad BUT...i aint got 500 posts...lol but there is feed for the two lovely ladies...props and gd work on yall thing...it wasnt a bad topical battle at all
I thought YoungLadie was good actually i think she expressed somethin that never really happend make u belive it if u look in her little virtual reality i think she was empressive not 2 be sexist or anythin but i nva thought girls could rap that good!!!!
No effence sorry gals i just didnt think girls were into rappin so the dont do practise so that was really good i like YoungLadie u have more 2 enjoy because there more 2 enjoy from he endless rappin but i dont think either were good at Dissing each other i thought in rappin you had 2 Diss each other, dont you?????
youngladie DQd for over upping