A Living Chess Game

using the same word, isnt repeating yourself, its using the same words. lol.. I used chess like 5 or 6 times, and game and but, but thats it. I wasnt repeating myself though, so no your wrong, besides the board game/ bored game line and one I used earlier, I didnt do any repeating. I did repeat myself with that bored/game board game line only cause I liked the line and wanted to use it, so I said fuck it and left it there lol.. and by simple, i didnt mean simple simple, I meant. I dont try to sound witty or come across smarter than I really am. I write just to write and the way I want, usually the way I talk. you seem to write in a way in which alot of RB heads do, and rb heads tend to prefer a certain type of style, a style I dont have cause I dont like.. you tend to want to sound witty, but instead of sounding witty you end up being boring and plain and all over the place. its just style preference dude, I'm not saying dont feed something of mine ever again, if you dont want to thats cool. I'm just letting you know where I'm coming from. again I appreciate you taking the time to read and leave feed, but I've always thought that some feedback deserves feedback, hence why I'm responding to you.

Ok. Wow was this a read... quoteables-

'in the record its said, we’re misled and treacherous heads
cause fact is that as kids we learned to play checkers instead'
i really like the multi-every-single-line in a topical, and people that dont use it actually annoy me, so dope...

"but first open the board, no way you cant maneuver this right
the whole thing‘s filled with squares, symbolic of losers in life
it wasn’t made too good.., destroy it?, in many ways you could
it has light and dark blocks, which represents neighborhoods
each piece is a type of person, that’s restricted to certain blocks
segregation will always exist whether it works or not
cause the government’s never straight forward with its crooked ways
not nice and vicious, just like the Bishop.., which in chess took its place
along with that of politicians, criminals, freaks and gays
with indecent traits, those not cared about when beat and slain
unlike the rich, whose money defeats disease and lets leaches eat
these are the rooks, not free from the crooks, & make ends meet with ease
while as the pawns, the poor struggle with ordinary troubles
and take small steps all stressed, as the cost to live daily doubles
there’s no fleeing they’re told, but some hold on deep in their souls
cause of rags to riches stories with pawns reaching their goals
at night there’s knights.., the drug addicts, terrorists and felons, see
they’re known for L‘s, whether it’s a blunt, suicide or felony
they usually avoid crowds and are like dogs that destroy hounds
but are commonly called hoarse, since that’s how their voice sounds
they’re shallow and dark, while others candles are sparked
but whatever piece you are, don’t forget to follow your heart"

WOOOOOOO. i loved this section, i really liked the creativity and how you broke down the chest board and peices saying black and white blocks / hoods segregation shit, HOT, how you threw the goverment as the bishop, the knights as thugs with the L relation, omg. Dope shit. This was a great overall peice, the multis kept the long lined wordy shit along a high pace road and you didnt overuse vocab that was unnessisary but it still was throughout the whole peice, dope. This was a well written great peice and a long read, but definately worth it. I'm glad your postin here and i expect to see you active around here, seriously. The only thing that drapped this peice was the length, but hardly any of it was pointless. Great job.

9/10

You'll be nominated on this, i read some of the other replys? Wtf? boring, doubtfull.

But i do expect, because this was so long, you to return the favor on my Crooked Child ft. Vylint collab with Mistral.

this was a very good peice. but i'd have to agree with vortex. some parts were boring and it was way too long. the imagery was excellent consistantly throughout. good flow. you had some nice illiteration here and there. that was also nice. you had some great details in there and followed the whole peice. good rhymes and multies. vocab was nice but u could have cut down slightly. but still this was a very good peice and i enjoyed reading it. keep it up.

I thought this was pretty slick, kind of drawn out, but the content made up for it. I would have done things differently in places and shortened it up using othe writing techiques but no where near what some replies are calling it. Not boring and not simple, if you thnk in terms of the concepts ran with here. This is a better life/chess comparison than many I;ve read dropped here. This one held my attention and had some witty shit. Good job man, I enjoyed this.

Thank you for your feed sir.

I really liked this piece, I , Myself have not read anything comparing Life to Chess. I really liked how you described the segragation between the white and black blocks, and how you used the blocks on the chess board to represent the blocks in life. I would criticise the length of this, but it kept my attention the whole way through, so Im not going to do that.
I really thought this was dope. The mechanics of the piece were nice, You used multis in the correct place to help switch the flow up and such.

I look forward to reading more :)

nice...nice opener man I really like this drop it was nice and sloid..multie were on point and I loved the vocab and once again the opener caught my attention good way to start the erse off and the closing was even better! so you did a good job in both of those areas...nice delivery and drop..keep it up!

thanks guys.

keep it coming, drop links when you drop feed, I'll hit ya back.

This was... different

I enjoyed the references to the different pieces.. I felt that was a good metaphor towards people's place in society.. Some of your references were better than others. I thought some of your metaphors, specifically those about the king, the queen, and the "hoarse" were a stretch, and didn't fit in with the larger metaphor (the pieces compared to a person's place in society). The hoarse thing just seemed really corny, the wordplay didn't fit with the topical. and the king should've been used better to describe someone who possibly had everything but wasn't happy, etc. same with the queen. And somewhere in the middle, your content got less interesting because you went on a tangent - a related tangent, but somewhat related tangent, but still - you allowed yourself to stray from the "direct" topic and got too detailed for my liking. Overall, though, this was a dope piece. I almost nominated it for Legends on concept alone, but I can't do that lol. It needs work as far as making it a little shorter and throwing out some of the details which weren't directly part of the metaphor. still, I liked it a lot.

possibly the wackest shit ive ever read in my life

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Automatic.

possibly the wackest shit ive ever read in my life

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lol.. so this is what your gonna resort to now?? I call you whack in an argument and then you act like a baby and start posting in my threads with bs just to make yaself feel special?