The wind that blows the barley

thanks dude

hit this for me:)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301605

I'll hit that up ASAP

uppin

okay, pretty cool little peice this was.. rhyme sceme was on point here.. also i felt the topic you wrote on was original, quite a smooth read with a nice storyline, was easy to follow.. flow i felt could of been a bit better in some places, also i felt you cold've used better wording on some lines.. and also could've come with a lil more complex vocab, it seemed a lil basic.. but other than that this peice was fine :)
i liked these.

Six years ago this very day
His life was unexpectedly malformed
On the wooden floor his father lay
At the beginning of the storm
The gusto clawed at the windows
As time froze, in his blood soaked clothes
The sound of his final breath
Smothered by crows