...word.
Printable View
...word.
This piece had a wonderful begining to it, The description used really painted a picture of the emotions that are being expierienced. The body of it was filled with imagery and descriptive words that added more detail to the story. I love the way you twisted the topic it was unique. The way that you played each bar kept your reader intrested, well at least it kept me intrested. I didn't expect a dedication to grandma, maybe a mother or absent lover or some lol... okes maybe grandma did work. :rolleyes: Anyways, nice job.
haha thanks A.O.D was it a long read 4 yah?
I've read longer lol, really you shouldn't be worried about length so much. Keep in mind that when you cut down on length, occasionally you stray away from the meaning and purpose of the piece you were writting. :) This was worth reading.
Aight this was some long ass piece lol, but yeah i liked the bare contents and imagery assisted in making it interesting. Furthermore, the basic creativity helped as well and overall, i liked how it all merged and concluded. Emotion was good in parts but to make the emotion seamlessly cross over to the reader try using emotive words, aight other than that, this was a good piece. Stay up
thanks 4 ur time pak its greatly appreciated
i think this'll b my last up im gonna do my new piece now
Na no probs, you spent time reading my work so i should do the same...Stay upQuote:
Originally Posted by ta2_tears
i already told u, this was a real good drop, it grasped my attention from the beginning to the end, i told u i aint wanna read it cuz it was so long, but i guess the fact that it was dedicated to sumone made it more interesting, u had real good metaphors and wordplay, the vocab was nice, and it flowed it perfectly, this was real good, keep it up and im gonna see more drops from u, overal rating 9.5/10
thanks thug... up