Tomborrow

chodeface^

00000h.

deffinatly the strongest vocabulary i've ever seen on this site. i honestly think your vocabulary is even above bounce. but without saying ..i think that the WAY you use this vocabulary is bad. i don't like how you throw a shit load of words in that most NO ONE hears ever. it's like you're trying to say (along with your story) "bitch get a dictionary!" lol, but the writing is great. like LegendZ said i think ..it's more borderline poetry AND Topical. i love it, because it's original, but i hate it because it's so complex. it's a different thing for me. Maybe it's just that i'm lazy and bad with vocab but that's me if thats the case. i remember doing your second piece with you, Vamp, and Vafinest. that was dope ..but now i look at me and you, and i see we're above that level now. We're passed that noobie level, and ready for another collab ;) ..

sooooo ..hit me up when you're free, and we'll organize a topic. I'd love getting through with your style. let's do it ..

- Nash

Tankz

EDIT - when did i collab with you, vamp, and va??

i dont remember

I like this peace alot, it was great in many ways, the best part was the imagery and the creativity, they were great, really a good kinda way to grasp the reaers attention, it had my full concentration from beginning to end, the flow was on point, wit a great structure, and it contained multies that was nice to help the flow along and flow even better, could've used more emotion to grasp more attention, but it already hit, where most readers like these kinda peices to be, you did a very good job for this choice of topic, and nice way to express it but not say it, very nice metaphors, well anyway can u hit up the O.M. in my sig with ta2, maybe both if possible, thnx

This was cool. I thought the intro was really dope. The rest of the piece: not as much. I think the vocabulary threw the rest of the piece off a bit. You just seemed to have a concentration of words that no one would use in a normal sentence, so as I read it, it just felt weird. Decent, but would have been really ill, if the rest of the piece was like the intro.

Thanks, but i guess my style just contradicts the many tastes of the rb cats.. but word, thanks

uppity

dam kid ...you sure your thirteen...you sound like one of them
spelling bee ma'fuckas...

Quote:

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Rheologist formulas and infantile injections
Times the only antidote to miles of tension

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that is fucken nice...im feelin you in the first half...
then i dunno where the fuck you go...im thinking this
really happened...and this dudes a real dude...
whatever the fuck...all i know is you use ya vocab skillfully...
your internal rhymes along wit your transitons is nice...
this piece is crazy...skill levels is insain as hell kid stay up...

I love your work. but i dont like you... why you ask? well the answer is 5 words.... YOU MAKE ME LOOK STUPID :D

LoL... dont expect many people to understand wut ur talking about and leave you feed you can work off of, because i dont expect many people 2 understand wut the fuck you're talking about... me, i'm decently smart and have a fair sense of vocabulary, and i was only able to slightly grasp the concept of your piece... for what i did understand, it was amazing that's for sure... the topic was great and imaginative, and your metaphorical and clever way of playing it out was outstanding... The rhymescheme and multis were outstanding, glad to see alot of them in there... and i loved how all your rhymes were so complex and difficult... you truly showed off your talent in that 1... vocabulary i dont even have 2 talk about, it was the most intelligent i've seen yet, though it makes me wonder if it was a bit forced... glad to see that the intensity of your vocab did not effect the flow of your piece, as it remained consistent throughout... the one problem i discovered in this piece was the extreme lack of emotion... it didnt reach out to the reader in my opinion, so i feel that for your next work, you should focus more on that..

but amazing job, im left dumbfounded. completely amazing... wow... uhh yeah i kno u already left feed on my collab with NY but i would b honored if you could check out As The Petals Fall in my sig... thanks alot peace

~1~