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This was good, it kinda like dragged the reader into the characters problems and this made it interesting, rhymeshceme was good and so was the vocab, not as in high vocab but vocab that seemed authentic for this situation. Very well done and do check this OM thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299270
lol thanks man. Rise.
Eh.
This piece was very boring. I'm sorry, but it really didn't keep my attention. It was basic too, and I really didn't like it. Mainly because I've seen the concept too many times, and this wasn't very original. The vocabulary was very mediocre, and I don't know. It was serious, and I just didn't think this was very creative.
Overall, be more original next time.
See this:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299216
This, although looks like it would be very interesting, really wasn't. I mean, the approach and structure was fairly creative but undernieth the superficial it was just a bland story of adolesance that really didn't achieve or do to much throughout its course. Cry's lines werent to bad, but Lex's lines just messed up Cry's status as being average due to the fact they were just lame and often corny. I don't know, overall it was just an average drop that you can see from any newb, plus alittle smoke and mirror. Wasn't really feeling the piece.
Mannn good read, nice imagery.
Was interesting to read and the concept was fantastic.
But yeah, I always enjoy reading your peices and stuff because they always are something that grab my attention. Cool man.