A World Without Love

thanks, upping feed

upping

getting slept on

decent piece... try making the font bigger though, lol

nyways.. lets see here.. the concept is incredibly played out, try thinking of something dope and original but the closing line seemed to make it seem a bit less played out... but you had some nice metaphors in this shit here... the hate mix/ipod line was cool, nasdaq line was cool... but you also need ot have a grasp of the vocab you use.. for instance when you said magent scientific or something like that, it didnt really make sense... just try and master the concept of the word before you putit into context. some of yopur vocabulary was decent, however, in the thrid verse it all made perfect sense. imagery was pretty decent as well and the emotion was top notch.. try straitgening out your rhyme scheme,,, make it multisyllabic and remember, please think up some original topics, that is the main problem these days. weak topics. This was a rpetty cool piece though

sorry for all the speliing errors. im tired

hit up "savior serum?" thank you

I've never seen this topic before so I didn't know but thnaks, and wax scientific means go on and on talking about scientific things which is the opposite of poetry, but thanks for the feed