this was a good peice
Printable View
this was a good peice
Nice I Was Feeling This Piece...
Concept Fit It.. Flow Was on Point, Complexity and Creativity Is Well Put Together. Multies and Punches Came Raw, Feeling THis, A Bit Lazy To Type So Keep It Up Man.
And Return The Favor on My New Piece.
Thanks. bump
This was nice...The leadup to the piece was actaully pretty nice...got me in the mindset to read it, added a tiny bit of history...It started out excellent, and continued to get better...As Always, it flowed smoothly...The imagery was definitely there, really gave me a mental picture of what was happening...The topic was ok, could of been chosen better, but nonetheless was good...The vocaublary was above average, but don't get too caught up in vocab...Fav. Part:
Follow directions and you would be saved from rejection with eternal protection
Another soul into my collection,
Welcome to my version of the crucifixion without resurrection..
Chea, that was a perfect ending..was nice...please RTF when my new OM goes up..
bump
wizzzord, this peice was dope fam
As she sat there with a dismantled face, I was forcing her to give me oral
Busted all over her face until I realized what I was doing was unmoral
this bar was ewww sick lol, good shit man..
realy good drop here man, keep writing..
9.5/10
1
i thought this was amazingly demented yet beautiful in a way your vocab was okay not too complex but really didnt need that extra push it flowed well and i enjoyed the dialogue between the people in the story made way for an understanding of what was truly going on ... the structure was well fixated overall tremendous respect on this piece well executed and i liked the end this is also a title that i haven't seen rarely... to speak on a title that clearly shows that you need expertise in the topical field you did rather nicely good job keep it up ..1..
bump bump bump.
as i started reading it wasn't all that hard hitting but then u picked it up
right about here; I grabbed some duct tape because her screams were unbearable
it got more moving but overall: loved the imagery i felt it wasn't all that complexed vocab was simple and to the point... multi's a little skingy!!
creativity not bad... enjoyment descent nothing to fancy...
but what really got me in2 it was the story... props on ure imagery...work more on content and enjoyment though...
props read some of my work and leave feed...
peace out
hall of fame status in my opinion......i'll be back later to break it down ...but for now i'm going to go an nominate this.
werd. thanks man.
upp
Hmmm This was nice. I liked it. Imaginary was very detailing, not advance though, not iwth metaphors and similies or any other advance shit, this was basic but it made a big impact. The emotion was good, I liked how you worded the character feelings throughout the whole verse, after every Line. But I would've liked how the girl felt, from her point of view, that would've been dope. You didn't use any vocab, but that don't matter. The Lines are pretty lengthy could've made them a little shorter. Next time focus a lil more on your syallable count, it can throw off the flow. The multi's from the beginning grasp me to continue reading. This was a decent piece, keep writing.
nice poetics delivered in this joint f'sho......... flow was coo..multies was on point.........n yeah i liked the explicitness involved in the rhymes n concept was flipped sic.........emotion eas there........all in all a nice piece...... style was good delivery was sharp n precise. was entertaining in all its schemeing. keep em poppa loppin dun
1