preciate the comments....it's like 2 of Rb's most wanted lol.....w/e
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preciate the comments....it's like 2 of Rb's most wanted lol.....w/e
Kind of a horrorcore type of write. It wasn't too bad, I kind of felt like the piece lacked elements though. Like, Ninja in his piece seemed like he was kicking someones ass, yet he never specified who in fact that was. But Pak, you took a different approach as it seemed like you were speaking more so in metaphor, and attacking almost an entire society with yours which I really liked. Ninja's piece to me started off very strong and creative but as it went on it continued to fall apart as the content grew more familliar and the "horror" more weak. If he could have kept up that level of consistancy the first 4 lines had it would have been great. Pak, I liked your verse, flow felt alittle stop and go at times which I dont like... But in terms of content I felt like you did this justice. Again, felt like you were almost battling societal problems rather than jsut a person. Not sure if thats what you were in fact doing, but thats just how I presieved it. So, not a bad piece, but I've seen much better from both of you individually... The verses lacked a sense of flow between eachother.
preciate the comments....i always try and show my view on modern society in as much oms as i can...good looking.....Ninjah will reply about his parts himself.
Both came dope i can't tell which one did better, but the point is u worked together nicely. the topic and the way u approached it was hot plus i liked how u got real poetic with it, both of u. the vocab was great and it flowed well for the most part.
this was real nice, 2 very talented OM writters, this was a very creative piece, and it was a good topic yall picked from, i loved the imagery, as i read everything was nice and clear and understandable, the vocab was real nice and creative, the story line was nice, it made me wanna keep reading on to see wats next. keep it up yall this was real nice
preciate the comment and thanks for taking out time
Woa...this was a pretty tight peice.....the topic definately caught my eye and it seemed very interesting and after reading it definately was an interesting/ enjoyable read.....flow was nice the whole time through this piece..rhymes were good and vocab was good too..overall nice peice guys...
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Originally Posted by .Jay.
i agree with that :2thumb:
yall did good but it could of been better
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Originally Posted by philly's great1
lol, you have to learn to leave more comments than that or it won't be soon till someone reports you for spamming
this shit is good and i like the flow
preciate it
wheres da dictionary? lmao pak is 17 writin down sum deep shit this is more a poem than a rap it seems.. u mite wanna check sum UK Artists out Jehst, TaskForce, Lewis Parker, check dem, they write like this was written... but yea at 17 man u got knowledge bruv
word
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Originally Posted by Rippa
I'll check em artists, age don't matter much experienc brings knowledge....books, views everything like that....read novels and it'll help my advice, also preciate ya comments