oh shit i posted twice
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oh shit i posted twice
This Piece Was Very Good..Very Enjoyable To Read.. The Flow Was Good Throughout, Nice And Smooth. Vocab Was Excellent In Places. Good Use Of Wordplay And Nice Imagery..Complexity And Creativity Was Shown in This Peice As Well..Overall This Was Good..Keep It Up...
ayo can u hit up my battle link in my sig and vote honestly its been open for like 2 weeks...thanks..
Really preciate all the comments and y'all taking out time to read this....Ayo vortex i aint sure this is legneds if they allow it in HOF i'd be happy enough lol
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Very detailed.Epic would be the word most fitting..You have an incredible way of wording your topics.I cant even complain about this one..really nothing needs improving...
very nice lines..esp.
"I shall first invade the mental barriers of those who oppose
My men then shall physically destroy defenceless rows
I am the general, generalise and mislead my men
To commit sins, while I lay safe in my den"
^very graphic..
nice..will be back 2 breakdown
The battering of drums, the marching of boots create the war song
Boots on bodies, feet’s on face…crumpled predecessors midst the throng
The delicate blade of feathers colliding with the rough ruthless knifes
Dried faced soldiers choked with the emotions from longing letters of wife’s
Great way to start off, imagery was excellent! Really got me into it.
I felt this whole piece was very very well done. The concept of this was dope, it was very original and really mad me feel apart of this army. The imagery was on point through this whole piece and really made me visualize everything that was going on. You had a very good choice of vocab which made it very easy to read and follow. You're structure also made this easy to follow. A couple of you're lines felt forced but overall all, it all seemed to come together very nice and flow excellent. Only thing I can say to work on is you're wording a little bit, that's the only thing I can say that was a little off but was still on point. I seemed to like you're foot soldiers stanza the best, it flowed the best and really kept me invloved. Overall Very well done. Props.
Leave feed on min and Kronik's please. Thanks
precaite both comments and thanks for taking ut time, i've check your piece already Dusk
Uppin to the top
More comments won't hurt, uppin
Damn. This piece was beautiful. I've never seen anything like this yet. good work. I like the vocab and the multi's were there. The flow and structure was on point. The only thing that I really missed in this piece was imagery but that was ok being of how it was. You really didn't need imagery in this piece. The imagery was what was going on in your mind. I love it. keep it up man.
preciate the comments, good to see you enjoyed the piece
bang bang.....no feed shot you down
.
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so i shot you back up...uppin'
this was some dope shit as usual....(dope head mean dope things)
structure=Dope
flow=dope
use of vocab=dope
nig overall this one dope piece no doubt no doubt
preciate the comments ma dog
This piece was nice. The concept was reall unque which is really good. You also had some real nice wordplay in this . I felt when i was reading it it sounded like some shit GZA would of wrote. Your vocab was exellent and this overall was a really good piece man keep it up man peace