Oh, lol... You're good man, you're good.
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Oh, lol... You're good man, you're good.
Uppity up
whoaaa...this shit is lyrical fire man... REALLY impressive and very creative
Sacrilegious priests bring forth the new religion, a unified faith
Their God the devil damasked, fêted for bodies and wraiths
The culture evolves, like a putrid product of a vulture who leads
To the flesh while he pecks the vision, thus causing sinful greed’s
The epic battle of the titans, that one lost to another
Resulted in a bloodbath, dead bodies of one next to the other
The wilted rose bled the blood of those that graced its being
Now they’re fleeing, isn’t the eternal meant to be all seeing?
^^ told really nice.. I like your way of writing and flow alot.
In my opinion...
Men are crucified, their bodies sucked dry by deathly leeches
Others eyes pierced by spear, they scream and their soul screeches
This is the account of the last drop of knowledge left on Earth
Adam and Eve had caused man to be a sinner from birth……..
^^ this was the dopest part of all...ESPECIALLY the last line..impressive work man, keep it up
Preciate the comments, upppin
Stay to the Toppin'
*silence for a minute*
.................................................. ..............................
now.....its not dope, no, more like a pure fruit, somein full of life, a new seed. The om is nice, good usage of vocab and syntex of wordage...... The best part I like about this is the end when u broke it down...
That shit is sik.....Quote:
Cannibalistic needs caused by sinful greed’s
That come from demonic seeds, man heeds
His heart bleeds, Eternal ones mistake leads
To another King on another Throne
The diary concludes, time stills as stone
Good drop......very good drop.
Appreciate the comments
Father though art in heaven, yet thy creation is marred
Tearless skies, fruitless forests, man’s wisdom scarred
Their visions shrouded, to all but what Lucifer states
Hell is a sorry fact, wishful thinking of heavenly gates
nice to open it
this piece was really good i liked it fo sho
ur flow was rarely off it was smooth thru pretty much tha whole drop
tha wordplay was pretty good it didnt fall off really
ur strutre was prolly i would say tha worst part of tha piece it was off at times but it still is pretty good and there was not alot wrong wit this
tha topic is perfect cuz i have read tha othas an u stayin on topic for everyone whichy must be hard but this was deffintly hall of fame nice drop homie
Preciate the comments
plz leave feed on mine
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...42#post4401942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Def Angel
I#ll leave it tommorow first thing ma dog
This Was An Amazing Peice Of Writing. Vocabulary Was The Best I Have Seen On Rb. Wordplay You Used To Connect Lines Was Above Normal. Your Ability To Use Word's Such As That An Put It Into Some What Of A Story Was Great.
I Liked How You Share The Same Type Of Style'd Writing's As I Do When I Write. Keep Up The Good Work An I Hope To See This In May's HOF As I Am Requesting In There Now.
Favorite Line
-Like a banished Balverine, the lord watches through his eyes
As children are taken to brothels, while flames devour his skies
Preciate the comments and good to see ya found it interesting
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pakaveli
Yeah,thas right
I've read what atty said about the piece... I must say although i respect the opinion, i beg to differ..
Personally i thought this was one of the best i've read from you, i really loved your use of metas here, i don't usually see you use them to much effect, but this was definately, not full of them, but where you did place them, they were very well placed and worked, your flow was good man, you know i alike reading your stuff, asnd enjoy reading your pieces, but this reaches to my darker side,lol... I really got into it, to me it was slow to start with, but once you got into it you actually did wow me with some very well worded imagery and emotion, you actually did suprise me here, i havn't seen you drop this well since your hof piece... Well done man, i really enjoyed it.
Feed on my ne wpoem 'dear grandma' if possible man, thanks.