Upping...
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Upping...
Upping this... c'mon some feed will be apreciated.
tell me about it :bored: lol, i give good feeds, PM me whenever you need one :) (low on friendly intake) happy 1000 posts too.Quote:
Originally Posted by el poeta
i enjoyed this, you really had poetic roots inside of it, the rhymes werent lined up as many poems were, but they stucc out as i read, and it was truelly fantastic, i really like your new style, it shows forth that essential piece of imagery you lacked before.
flow- it was awesome, i liked all the internal rhymes and even after 3 lines of not using a specific rhyme, the rhyme comes bacc into tune and suprises me (fast reader) i didnt skim tho...
concept- a used concept, by nearly everyone... but one of the most beloved concepts of all time
imagery- i liked this line specificly
She was distressed, blessed with
beauty leathered in a weathered red dress…
i could see her in my mind shining in that dress. beautiful imagery...
physical connection- with all the characters and scenery, i believed this could have been added apon, but good job
mental connection- this is mostly where your poetic insence has came into picture...i was feeling alot of how he felt during first noticing the beatiful woman, the closure was nice too.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=289545
if you cud... and let me know if collabs your thing
I don't know why people didn't peep this before this is a phenomenal abstract work. This poem/OM was realy deep I liked how you seperated it which gave it a kind of better view the imagery ofthis peice was good maybe a few parts that were amazing but overall the emotion of this peice was astonishing. The way it kept me reading was that it wasn't redunant like some of the other OM's around here which is a good thing. So overall I'd say not OMHOF worthy but definitely one good of your works.
It's a 7.8/10