Carousel by This Aint Beef

Man, out of like the 4-5 maybe 6 OM's i have read today yours takes the top spot, this was really creative, and also well done, i liked your vocab it was pretty much on point, you had alittle word play in your verse like in different spots of your verse, the imagery, man that imagery was really good, i loved it, you expressed it really good, the beginning of your verse to the end showed so much imagery but more to the middle, thee emotion was do pretty good, im not sure if the part in bold was the chores or the hook or wat ever but that was nice, but yo keep it up and and keep showing your emotion creative side of writing.

Thnx for the feed bro...

Uppin'

Let's see if I cant get some more feed. . .

Up

this was hot i liked this peice alot

And my thoughts drift to amusement sluts
Whose movement struts with consuming butts
They bat their lashes when you grasp their asses
Before turning a blind eye; as they laugh at passes

LMAO I LUVED THAT PART

but really u had some pretty good flow it didnt really fall off to much'
ur vocab was alright u had ok choice of words lol but ur ryhming was good
ur strutre was ok but u realy gotta loss tha hooks those aint to good for text lol
u had a nice topic not many ppl would write on this kinda topic it was nice

Under the moon often the booze will blind
Was my heart lost? Or did I lose my mind!?
I was once standing but thats a sober ghost
As I clamber to the ground, from drug over dose

nice way to close it

peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Black Ninja

not bad homie..its aight..u could use more vocab..
and espanding it...
but overall

6/10 i think..

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I think you're just a hater.

Damn my nigga . . . this was an amazing drop. Imagery was amazing and the multis, although they were just a bit off a couple of times, were on point. You stayed on topic throughout most of the drop. This was an original piece and originality goes VERY far in my book.

Here's the breakdown . . .

Vocab-above average
Imagery-like I said, really good
Multis-really good
Flow-had a really nice rhythm too it . . .I can picture a mellow beat behind it
Wordplay-I dont remember seeing much of that in there but hey, it wasnt that kind of drop
Overall-I have to give this piece about 8.9/10

Great drop. And I expect to see more of the same. Lol . . . good luck and keep on spittin . . .

Yeah This Was Good, I Cant Say Anything Different Than What They Said But This Is Definently My Favorite Piece By You That Ive Seen