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i liked this... you had streached out structuree... but you pulled it off with good flow... alot like i do in a lot of my writtens... mine work here i could feel the atmosphere you wehre reaching out for here... i thought you molded some of the senttecnces into some nice imagery... all in all it was a nice thought that pulled all toghether with a little bit of clarity... nice work...
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safe
I dont know what some people mean when saying the flow was off. I was reading that aloud to myself and didnt have any issues. I wouldnt call what you were doing in this multi's a lot of the time, but nice use of internal rhymes. Topic original, and the vocab you used didnt come off forced to me like others have stated.
Nice read, keep it up.
topic was pretty interesting.......ya flow was mad smooth..props
vocab and complexity was here and that was excellent....
imagery was nice overall......rhymes were really good same with multies
overall this was a good read, i liked it..keep it up..peace
thanx yo...
1
I liked it......cool multis and effortless flow...
I liked your complexity and everything just came together nice to form an exceptional piece..Soryy for the short feed but I'm the 20th replier so everyone beat me to it........
^safe bro . yeah i just read and replied to 1 of ur pieces...
bumps
Keep doing what u do, good piece and a good rhyme scheme.
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yeah!