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Dope... Really, just dope. You're really starting to reach that finally stage of writing before you really discover yourself. I mean, you linking great vocab to steady flows while holding the fluency of content. The structure at first seemed alittle stretched, but you had enough flow to really support that line length... But as for the overall structure It would have been better if you chopped this into a few verses to give the reader a chance to catch a breath. Cuz that first verse is atleast 2 seperate verses. The concept is cool, the topic sounded familiar but I can't really remember reading about it... Lol I dont know, maybe I just thought of trying it once *Shrug* But ya, pretty original, and I liked your descriptions and imagery alot... You painted a very vivid image from start to finish. Overall, great job man.
I'd apreciate it if you could leave feedback on my new Om:
"When the Elephant Walks..."
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287748
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wow...this was really good.........right when i started reading it i got into it and enjoyed it so i had to keep reading..the imagery was awsome man it really was, the rhymes were tight......vocab and complexity was definately here and the flow was like perfectly smooth.....topic was interesting and i liked it...overall i say this is a 9.6/10..it was dope.
