Printable View
great drop. real fucked topic but you didn't choose it so i won't rag on ya for it :mad: ..lol i loved the writing though. Although being in the shoes of this person wasn't so plesant, it was REAL descriptive. the writing was the best part of it. every other word went with the next after it just perfect and how you lost with such a verse i don't know ..but it was great. Imagrey was a huge plus, thanks for the read man ..
pz
phenomenal. this left me really wanting to hear more...makes me question myself...
anywayz..imagery was tite, multies were tite. but i had to go back and read some parts over becouse of the verse structure. the actual raping part was disturbingley detailed...
good shit. 10/10
Lol, thanks. You know what, this should be archived. Ive got pieces in Legends now that arent touching this. And where else will you get someone like Evolve saying it was flawless?
wow... imagery....flow...rhyme scheme...dopeness this was excellent...
10/10 STAY UP
Finish this shit and its in Legends...
dope!
Haha, thanks.
I really don't see how you lost that SS battle with this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Camarac
I do. I pissed off a good half the board with my comments on how shitty the battles have become here thanks to the likes of Clit-tacular. This match took place shortly afterwards. Go figure .. Lol.
Lol... I doubt people will hold a grudge but that shouldn't have happened in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by Camarac
Okay I've read through this piece a few times now, trying to find something to point out to be incorrect or in need of elevating, but this piece was basically flawless, the topic was interesting (fucked up, but interesting!)... You kept me 'wanting' to read the next line, which in my book keeping your writter interested in your words are is an extremely valueable assit to have on your side, the thing that struck me most about this piece was the vivid picture you painted in my mind with description that was at times amazing... the emotion put into the piece was very strong also, the feeling of disgust really was showed in a vivid passionate light, this really attracted me to the piece as it seemed that you really felt the emotion yourself (not the sittuation,hopefully! but the emotion was heart felt)... the flow was flawless, i read it through to a mellow beat and it really went well to that beat, so automatically i loved the piece from the very start, your vocabulary was very descripive and a mixture of complex and simple, which are two elements that really went to your favour in this, i hate it when people either use to simple or too complex, you seemed to keep a freat ballance of the two, another thing that hit me whilst reading this was the structure, it was unique and showed that you have a creative writting ability...I think this was a brilliant piece and i hope that you do as well next SS battle, and also that people vote fairly this time!
Well done man, i really enjoyed this.
Feed on this piece please mate, thanks.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285683
Wow, it's been so long since I've read a Camarac piece. My Open Mic hero :) . Hell, you gave me my name I have now. But enough of my recollections. This piece was sheer brilliance. It won't even serve a purpose to tell you how great the wording and such was because you already know how great the technical aspect of your pieces are. It's just the imagery .. you portray this piece out to be one hell of a great story. It constantly keeps me interested and following. I also like how you put that picture up there, it was a good idea. All in all, another classic in the Open Mic forum. If you get a chance could please hit up my latest piece.
this shit was tight man
flowwise. lyrics wise. ect
sorry for such short feed
but yeaaa. just wanted to say I read it and liked it. keep doing you
I plan on getting into topicals soon.
I'm not one to jump on the band wagon, but in this case I think that I am going to have to agree with everyone else and say that this piece was ill. No if and or buts about it, you nailed this topic. Your flow was on, your vocab was proper, and your placement was excellent, not to mention your imagery was flawless. I can truthfully say that you paint one hell of a morbid picture, at least in my mind.
favorite lines:
he beat her 'til her cries for help were little more than silent yelps.
The pungent stench of his stale breath, clung to her pale flesh…
…and she balled her fists at each sordid kiss, placed upon her by his morbid lips.
A single finger prised open the pink insides of this shrinking violet...
^The imagery was incredible....seriously thats some vivid and concerning shit.
This whole piece kind of haves a Charles Manson meets Edger Allen Poe vibe .
In all seriousness, i thought this was flawless. The imagery, word choice.. everything worked together. The story was a little desturbing but entertaining none the less. I look forward to the rest. Well done. One
You know, LedgenZ, the part you quoted as your favourite was actually the part heads elsewhere DIDNT like. They thought it threw the flow, but I actually thought that was some of the best of the piece. I guess because the comma's werent there to break it up, they lost the scheme, but yeah - thanks for the props.
Good to see Sarc still around these parts.