For the Kids.. Feat. M16 (From TB)

Up...

Yea i was feeling this peice...

I like the topic, i disagree with some other comments, i think your structures are very good, especially profits...

Profit:
I really enjoyed your verse, the flow really stood out to me and not once did i feel like i had to straign to make the words fit into place, i may even go so far to say your flow was flwless.
Your emotion and imagery was im the right place, i found it nice and easy to read, i was simplistic yet i feel you really pulled it off and made something out if it.

M16: I was also feeling your peice, but iust say not as much as profits, i felt it sounded rushed and very little thought gone into it, i found it hard to get into it at the start, but then nearer the middle/end i did, i can see that you can do alot better, and when your not rushing i think you could come up with something very creative and origional... you have a good style of writting.

Well done both of you, i enjoyed the read.

Appreciated

I liked these indiviually, but they they not fot together very well. I thought they actually made for a rather studered read, the two verse were not matched well for a collab peice. Both had doen a nice job, but sometimes it's better not to collab if the two verse do not mix well. Seems like you two have all the basics covered, and are on your way as far as higher claiber material is concerened. I'll be looking out for your stuff in the future, and next time make sure a collab matched up better.

Good job, and good read...

Thanks Bounce.. comments are apreciated..

Up!

Up..

That was pretty dope yo. I really like the flow. I really felt the emotion also. And when TP said..."The kids that will witness the pain and slain of today"
It got more of my intention. Change the Structre and you both got it.

Peace
8-10

I liked this. Ya both did good but m16 stood out to me. Ya both need to have better structures but the lyrics was dope. You stayed on topic and used great imagery. This was a good drop and flowed well. Props to both of you.
n i wish to c ya in ma post dude

i cant say nuthin dude just it ok nice drop

Wtf. the fuck out of here. copying and pastin peoples replys..
Dense mu'fucker

Okay, last up


But as far as people commenting on structures, i guess you mean because there isnt a rhyme at the end of each line? but yet people comment on how the piece flows nicely..
Cmon now, Its either one or the other.. a structure is good if the piece is kept solid throughout without major changes in how it should be read..
like people have one line with one rhyme with the rhyme at the end, and then the next line the same, and that is their 'structure' throughout the piece.. and because my structure is different from that doesnt mean its a BAD structure, its just different.. and different things work for different people..
But i thank yall for the feed..