Dreams

iight tanx yo

uppin

uppin this for more feed

Eh, overall I didn't like the piece. But, when you first started out I did enjoy it quite a bit actually. The first verse had a very strong flow, actually a fairly complex one at that which left me somewhat shocked. The begining was actually very thought provoking with all your thoughts on racisism and theories and what not... Made for a decent read. But then you go off into talking about eating emcees and shit and Im just lost... Wishing that the deep thoughts of racism and society would come back. And then I hit that line were you say you don't sleep cuz you think about boasting or whatever. I was just like what the fuck? The whole piece is about dreaming... And you really just contradicted yourself pretty badly and it just ruind the piece for me from there on. Then the second verse was just blah... I didn't like any of it. You lost that steady flow I was feeling before, and you lost that fluent content aswell and it just because another one of "thoooooose" piece. So, keep trying man, work on staying consistant and on topic.

I'd apreciate it if you could leave feedback on my new Om:
"When the Elephant Walks..."
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=287748