ok laydeee...back to the feed for my verse comeon yall stop sleepin on it
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ok laydeee...back to the feed for my verse comeon yall stop sleepin on it
uppin for some feed...come on tell me what you think...fer real
RISE...dang plz give me feed
man u did this realy good....
i got no bad things to say.....
this one did me realy good:
Then Death came with a Proposition...A game of chess...
If I lose I die if I win im still livin...i did my best...
don't stop m8
this shit was mad tight
you ahd some good thoughts put together on this the flow came out very good as well taht was hot and i was feeling the vocab as well i liked that real deal you ahd some creative bars though out nad that was hot
iight keep that feed comin yall
come on yall post some feed on this plz i want to know what i need to do to improve
Better than I expected. Nice flow, ok vocab. I get the main consept, pretty deep. I like how you droped it. You could use some elevation, because this was pretty plain.
These were the lines I liked
After that it got pretty basic.Quote:
Originally Posted by GrimReapa
I give this a 6.5/10
iight homie tks fer the feed i want to know what i need to improve keep all that comin
rise
ur structure was good & i liked ur overall flo, i think u coulda elevated on ur vocab tho, but it's aiight 4 dis piece...
i agree wit every1 dat it shoulda been longer, but concise is good sometimez...
like i said, overall i really liked ur drop, jus elevate on ur vocab and keep da length in mind 4 da next 1 & u'll def b str8
~1~
-LL
iight tks...kept leavin feed yall...Vocab and Length iight
gd drop
the flow was consistent, the pauses were well wrkd out
the rhymin was gd - a mix btwn complex and simple - tht wrkd well
the concept/topic/context was a gd one to choose, and u did it well
one thing i would change would be this line:
Panic Kicking In...2 choices should I go left or right...
to
Panicking...2 choices should i go left or right...
i felt tht 'Panic Kicking In' didnt wrk with the flow of the rest of the piece,and i found 'Panicking' (even tho i cant spell it) was easier to read
thts the only change i'd suggest for this piece
gd drop
keep at it
iight nigga good lookin out...still uppin
Rise Dont Die