No doubt.
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No doubt.
wow---pak u are fukkin elevating madly......you had a flawless vokab with imagery and multis that were crazy....u have all you need now..you are practically perfect...
i seriously cant think of something bad to say...................
nice shit bro
keep it cool
Thanks for all the preciation.......yeah i thought it was time i actually stopped writing simple stuff, anyway thanks dog preciat it
DAAAMN son. youve out done yourself again yo. word up. the flow was tight. the imagery was straight up dope. the complexity in the piece an vocabulary makes the reader think about what you sayin. and what you sayin is the truth. the rhymescheme was alright but you made up for it in every other aspect i think. overall this was a real dope piece, cant wait to see your next diary homie. straight up overall i will give you a 9.5/10..minor improvements here and there could make this piece legendary!
(dont even fret about that j.christ..he just a bitch) peep my new Om if you havent. I sigged it.
-Peace
Yeah checked ya new OM, like ya stuff it's thoroughly enjoyable.......as for J.Christ, nah i aint frettin' am laughin'......he tryna get props by usin' my themes......ah well who cares.........anyway, thanks for checkin ma stuff, preciate ya takin' out ya time and leavin comments, thanks
everthin u write is dope nigga u always ill no matter what thats how it seem i cant say nuttin bad bout this piece just dope thats all final word great job wit dis
leave feed on my om what you make it
Thanks, preciate it and yeah i checked ya OM
yea this was a nice piece of work man you had alot of complexity inside of this Om i liked the way it went together and made a nice lil story most of your recent pieces have been great reads, you dont need to work on much there had alot of vocabulary, your sentance stringin was very good, and thats about it, keep on workin for tha perfect verse mayne,
stay up
~1~
This was a pretty interesting piece keep it up!
Thanks preciate all the comments
First time i've ever read anything of yours, & i'm impressed.
Nice flow to this piece, everything was working well. Good imagery thrown in there aswell, wasnt expecting something like this so i was kinda thrown off guard when i read the forst 6 lines. Really well written, didnt think u fell off from the standards you were setting from your opening lines.
Nice job overall, enjoyed the read.
Thanks for the preciation, it's good ta see these kind of comments after working hard for a piece, thanks preciate ya taking out ya time and reading
dawg you keep making all us other people in the Om forum look like garbage stop that... do whatcha do though
Your Verses are alwayz so deep i be getting mad when they end hurry up and make part 3
Fav parts:
Life disconnected, can’t get through, engaged dial
Kin slaying kin, blood thicker than water, Red river Nile
Man is an image of God, yet malformed and flawed
Unlike Jesus, man fell, when satanic temptations called
And
Man devours man…Satan rejoices his plan
Succeeds, his followers hail, his disciples chant and stand
Tears fall out of the sky, Satan engraves evil in every blood gland
Like Atlantis, the world slowly crumbles…. to sand
sawg keep it up and give me tips
Rep That Fam DLL
Yeah, tis DLL in ere...........yea preciate ya comments dog, as for tips, i'll give them in the crew area soon aight
Separation of Earth, Snapshots of hell viewed
Nightmares are born, sins causing life to get subdued
Shrewd mind of a man, when empty is an invite
For Satan to reside then recite his wishes and ignite
Desire, Greed in turn dominates the human mind
Sins committed, theft, murder, nothing left behind
^^^love the opening, & niice multies...
Surrounding trees set alight, voices recite, scriptures of hell
Man remembers Moses, misunderstood, on his knees he fell
Mimicking Gods ways, the Devil seeks attention
Making men commit sins, under false pretension
Shadows reach across; demonic seeds plant his brain full
Murder is committed, terror spreads, at the sight of a cannibal
Man devours man…Satan rejoices his plan
Succeeds, his followers hail, his disciples chant and stand
Tears fall out of the sky, Satan engraves evil in every blood gland
Like Atlantis, the world slowly crumbles…. to sand
Heaven unleashes fury, the clouds thunder and pelt
Gambling of fate, evil, good, the cards are dealt
^^^ great wording & i'm loving the meta's...
Demonic seeds caused repulsive deeds
Repulsive deeds committed by cannibalistic needs
Satan heeds, man eats flesh, drinks the liquid that bleeds
Holy books are corroded, searching for answers impulsively
“Eat my flesh and drink my blood”, words taken literally
^^^ great again...
overall this was dope.. flowed very smooth throughout the whole piece.. had very good imagery/meta's, & i enjoyed readin it... bway this deffo has 2 be nominated for feb....keep writing aiite....1