this was alright. try be more complex. it might work better
Printable View
this was alright. try be more complex. it might work better
I really felt this. it was some deep shit. the flow was tight and so was the imagery and descriptions of feeling and emotion. and the overall effort put in this was dope. the chorus was meh. but the verses were well put together i thought. needed some more complexityin the vocab. keep droppin dopely. overall il give it a 8/10
^^^ thnx peoples for the honesty about this shit....thnx doe.. more feed.
structure was kindah edgy but it was aight the topic was usual but i feel what you both were trying to point out. the shit was hot lady just elevate with flow sweets okay and make ya shit mo' creative ladie, ya verses was hot but the flow was what needs work on
good shit
I think it was a piece that put the topic in2 perspective. Ur readerz could relate 2 the topic--if not 4themselves then 4 some1 that they know.
It was good that u didn't direct it just @ guyz cuz that's tru tho
This hooks vocab was well done--
"lady dip Hook
don't know wat to expect ur infatuated
wit the physical can't trust everything he/she sayin'
it ain't always obvious but try n find the hints
or u'll be hurtin' more than a person wit arthritis
ya hearts cold tryna break thru the cold weather
lack of love fa yaself wishin' shit a get better
closin the doors ain't lettin' noone in
cause u refuse to get ya heart broken again"
It just needs work on the structure/flo but u on the right track.
I agree with ^^^Da-Gipht...I think u 2 could b great
Just spend some more time on ur setup & it'll b tight.
I could use HELPFUL feed on my OM...it's my 1st--if u gotz the chance. Gracias!
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270190
thanks for the feed yall keep it comin.
this was tight but the structure was... umm.... needs some work on that feel me? i enjoyed all verses from both but i liked ladie's verse more because she had a better flow to hers and the way she put her verses brought out the subject more. lady, i liked ya shit too, it was tight but you just work on the flow okay. not too bad imrpove on the vocab also