Commandments

thanx much my niggas

Good piece, decent topic, good use of vocabs, flow was there, not that much imagery. keep it up homey lookin to see more from you

thanx my dude rize..........

I like this piece, good topical and good creativity yo, this shit's above par when it comes to a topical, good wordplay n vocab. i wanna see more like this peeps, stay up and i'll be on the lookout for more of your work

I really liked the concept of this piece..and the creativity to incorporate the 10 commandments themselves within the text..your vocab was pretty consistent for the most part..your structure wasn't set up to well however..you should've made the text smaller so that the line breaks would be more clear, that would help with catching your flow..also you should've lengthened some of the lines to keep the flow smooth at the end for example:
"that means dont steal his wife or even a fuckin meal
thou shall not steal.
who here has taken some thin without payin the fee?
thou shall have no other Gods before me"
^^you probably should've worked on your flow there..the syllables per line were really inconsistent..overall i enjoyed reading this piece, fixing those things that i mentioned would've made it even greater but i'd give it a 7/10...keep elevating and keep writing..oNE

please hit up my OM: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268442

thanx my dude rize........................

i liked this piece sum reason
i liked how u put the 10 commandments into the drop
flow was ok - wrk on tht
same with da structure
rhymin was gd, jus wrk on gettin it a bit more complex in sum places

can u hit up the battle in my sig plz???