Love

thnx for the feed, much appreciated
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uppin

love...ed that peice... that was awsome, that is really how you feel when you wanna go out wit a girl

ight the concept, is gud cos most peeps wud feel you...
emotion was gud,structure suits ya style...
vocab...add some it only adds fire to ya spit fam...
creativity, was ight, some of ya words was doubled...
and its all gud if it aint obvious,but i aint hatin on that...
the only thing id like to know
is do you spit your rhymes, cos if you check this section


Walkin down the same road, she pretends to be on her phone
And she's the only thing on your fuckin mind when you go home
And it's killin you, you talk to complete strangers with no problem
But as soon as you try to talk to her, there's one main problem
You can't find the words, but when you've practiced it, it comes out
And she thinks you're a complete jerk, cos you say some random stuff


i find when you just talk it , the flow is easy to adjust...
but when i try to spit it...it gets choppy and switches
up and down the rhthym changes are sharp and the flow
gets killed, any piece i read i try to spit it... what do you
suggest is a good beat to listen to, while tryin to spit it
if you answer i'll try and spit it again...

good looks fa da feed on mines, im gonna edit my piece
and explain why my structure is how it is, im out
stay up, piece

i think i did it wen i was listenin to 'when i'm gone' by eminem i'm not sure which verse, it might have been more thn one
i writ it and then spit it i fink it sort of fits with when im gone but i cant remember
thnx for the feed anyway MADDUS

thnx man, i'll remember tht
uppin

write her a letter........fuck wat other ppl think

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Intelligence....

write her a letter........fuck wat other ppl think

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dont u think i'd already thought bout doin tht, send in a pm nxt time, leave feed not personal advice plz

anywayz...
upppin for sum real feed

uppin for feed

hey i liked that dude....but seriously tell her! write her a letter if u cant face to face i dunno but anyways...ya did slacken off with a few rhymes and it sorta gets killed in places...but other than that there was good rhymes and it was emotional and im feelin ya man...

daym...only other thing i can say is ....NiCe sTuFf!

need sum more feed ppl
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well this was nice. good topic and emotion u only need a better structure and some more rhymes

I can relate to this, pretty much. I felt it, but like the said, its the vocab that needs improvement. Nice though...

thnx yall
upppiiinnn

Yea man... I am definatly feelin that peice. Tight structure. I know exactly how you feel.