Swimming In My Own Blood. (Last OM Until Jan.)

Um, ok.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ASI.

tight mode ::respect::

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lmao..

Um, ok.

Loved this piece but im a massive fan of Cobain's music his music was so relateable. The only musician i liked who wasnt a rapper. Its strange their was a documentary on him last night on tv so maybe you saw it and was inspired to write this. I think if anybody younger had written this it would of been done in a corny way because nobody under 18 could of got that deep on this piece. You detailed what you thought he would of been feeling very well it was extremely detailed so it drew me into the piece straight away.
Vocab was perfect just nothing over the top cause that i think would of made the piece too cryptic but you kept the vocab perfect. So the imagery was very detailed, you described his feelings, thoughts real well it was very easy to get into the story cause we all know about it or heard about it.
I really liked the piece i couldnt criticise the piece at all.
Might do a collabo when you get back in Jan unless i get a new flat by then , peace.

Nah I never saw the documentary, I just did my research online. And 17 isnt my real age, I'm only 14. And sure, I'd love to collabo with you. I'll be able to do one before I leave on Friday if you'd like...

yo that was some deep shit it had ery thing to make it good multies complex lines
and great vocab return the favor on my peice the new depression peace out

Thanks..

Gripping a scattergun, tied from my palm straight to my chin,
a life long dream gone, vanished, nothing left from deep within
Born a monster, though my position went well with the scene,
a freak accident, no fuck it, I was hatched a psycho to begin!
Patched myself up when I got in brawls, shot up with meth when duty called,
to relieve the stress I drank, that was soon to be a reason why this death was my fault


Thats class man...Ur storytelling was highly impressive...maybe work onya rhyme scheme, get a few alliterate two syllable cross rhymes in der and ur sorted...respect..

Thanks..

dat was fresh and creative. i like da topic and it almost like poetry. i like it

I like it. it was original and it flowed like poetry. dat was fresh

Ok.

up.

very deep peice right here.....u have good imagination in this....which is good for a OM...structure made it easy to read and i like the word play wasn't to simplistic wasn't too crazy....it was just right...hope to see some more stuff from u...peace

Thank u, i will leave feed in ur OM shortly.